Google's Rules of Acquisition

waderoush writes "For many startup entrepreneurs, getting acquired by Google is the dream exit. But these days Google is getting a lot more discriminating about what kinds of companies it buys — and a lot more careful about how it integrates newly acquired teams. This article offers an in-depth look at how Google achieves a two-thirds success rate with acquisitions, and why things still occasionally go south. 'The return on our acquisition dollars has been extraordinary,' says vice president of business development David Lawee, Google's M&A czar. But Google insiders say it still takes a lot of work to make sure acquired startups go the way of Android (the mobile operating system, acquired in 2005) and not Aardvark (the social search site, acquired in 2010 and shut down in 2011)."

Comments

obligatory Ferengi reference

[MacColossus]

Well done Quark Brin! The Grand Nagus will be pleased!

Google's Rules of Acquisition

[TubeSteak]

1 Once you have their money ... never give it back.
3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
6 A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
7 Keep your ears open.
8 Small print leads to large risk.
9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10 Greed is eternal.
13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16 A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
17 A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23 Nothing is more important than your health--except for your money.
27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 Peace is good for business.
35 War is good for business.
40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41 Profit is its own reward.
44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45 Expand, or die.
47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52 Never ask when you can take.
57 Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
58 There is no substitute for success.
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Keep your lies consistent.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65 Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
75 Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94 Females and finances don't mix.
97 Enough ... is never enough.
99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103 Sleep can interfere with profit.
104 Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
106 There is no honour in poverty.
109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111 Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113 Always have sex with the boss.
117 You can't free a fish from water.
121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141 Only fools pay retail.
144 There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
177 Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
192 Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door.
202 The justification for profit is profit.
203 New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
211 Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.

Shamelessly stolen from here: http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/rules/
I had to leave out the last few rules because /.'s spam filter insists on 40 characters per line

Re:Aardvark the extension

[macraig]

Those self-driving cars are an advertising plot. Don't be fooled! ;-)