Pinkie Pie Earns $60K At Pwn2Own With Three Chromium 0-Day Exploits

Tackhead writes "Hot on the hooves of Sergey Glazunov's hack 5-minutes into Pwn2Own, an image of an axe-wielding pink pony was the mark of success for a hacker with the handle of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie subtly tweaked Chromium's sandbox design by chaining together three zero-day vulnerabilities, thereby widening his appeal to $60K in prize money, another shot at a job opportunity at the Googleplex, and instantly making Google's $1M Pwnium contest about 20% cooler. (Let the record show that Slashdot was six years ahead of this particular curve, and that April Fool's Day is less than a month away.)"

Comments

You know what this calls for?

[LiroXIV]

A PARTY!!! (sorry bronies, couldn't resist)

Re:You know what this calls for?

[ShadowBlasko]

Deploy The Party Cannon!

Re:You know what this calls for?

[Anonymous Coward]

This is your singing telegram I hope it find you well
I found a browser exploit and it's working pretty swell

Chrome's in version seventeen, but its sandbock's not complete
I bought myself a vic'try cake, it hope it really sweet

There will be massive patching i'm sure in a day or three
And when you've downloaded the fixes, send some thanks to me

No need to write a check, mr google's was enough
But hacking not about the cash, but out stuff

The hole's just in the browser, they'll patch it before too late
but please oh please don't be a jerk, keep your OS up to date! /faints

Re:You know what this calls for?

[pushing-robot]

Pinkie Pie Earns $60K At Pwn2Own With Three Chromium 0-Day Exploits

Oh, sure, we're laughing now... but this should be a wake-up call.

While at first glance they seem almost indistinguishable from us, there is actually a vital difference between Ponies and ourselves—educational systems.

Pony schools are far more intense than ours, especially in the maths and sciences. If you're familiar with the so-called "math" taught in our primary schools, you will agree that this image is disturbing. Young fillies (and colts, though their society is strongly gender-biased) are also taught a tremendous work ethic and social responsibility virtually from birth; in fact, they are expected to demonstrate exceptional talent and plan a career even before they reach adolescence. Furthermore, Ponies are even taught to take responsibility for the world around them. Their town, their environment...hell, the Sun, Moon and skies might as well be in their charge. They possess a drive that we fail to instill in our own children.

None of this is particularly surprising when you consider that Equestria is an autocratic state whose leader has a singular fixation on education. While our leaders focus on populism and pork, Equestria sinks more and more resources into teaching even while its infrastructure and government services seem positively primitive.

What does this mean for us? In the short term we'll continue to maintain our dominance in industry, but farther out...simply put, we're fucked. While our children fall farther and father behind, their foals dash ahead. They're already pumping out incredible individuals and technologies that defy belief. I fully expect that the first footprints on Mars...will be hoofprints. But that's not the worst of it. In the next decade, a pony will likely take your job. Soon they'll be running our entire country.

I know what you're thinking right now: "Oh my god...Ponies, rule?". But the answer is yes, and I can't put too fine a point on it: It's only a matter of time before Ponies totally and completely rule everything. That is—unless you do something about it today. Write to your representatives. Tell them unless we all want to start singing Pony anthems, they can no longer claim to be strong on education while cutting budgets and shirking responsibility.

Tell them that starting tomorrow, their actions must match their words.

Tell them they must stop this hippocracy.

Re:WebKit

[Anonymous Coward]

Frankly, that's impossible.

Safari is perfect, like everything else Apple makes.

Re:As the Slashdot Front Page Said at One Time...

[sixtyeight]

Ugh, pwnies.

Life imitates pun.

Hippocracy

[tepples]

Tell them they must stop this hippocracy.

This might be the first time I've seen a misspelling of "hypocrisy" used as a legitimate pun (hippo=horse, cracy=government). And it isn't even a copypasta (or at least one indexed by Google). Bravo.