Slashdot Mirror
Scientists Work Towards Naturally Caffeine-Free Coffee
First time accepted submitter eternaldoctorwho writes "Research has been underway to produce a coffee bean plant that naturally has no or little caffeine content. Now, it looks like that might become a reality in the near future: Paulo Mazzafera of the University of Campinas in Brazil has come closer than ever with a strain containing 'only 2% of normal caffeine levels.' Coffee, anyone?"
It is like an energy free Energy drink! Sheesh, if ya don't want caffeine, perhaps coffee is not a good choice of drink? It is like a skier that doesn't like snow. There should be something about the wookie defense in here somewhere too. It does not make sense.
If information wants to be free, why does my internet connection cost so much?
Wicked, tricksy, false! It chokeses, burnses us! Gollum! Gollum!
It's like taking the cocaine out of Coca-Cola.
We have to stop science!!
No, only a faceless auditing committee
scientists are working on orgasm-free sex, first person shooters with blank bullets, and political discussions free of nazi-references. Next up: soccer games where swearing at the referee gets muffled with anti-sound.
10 ?"Hello World" life was simple then
Decaffinated coffeeee--it's what they serve in Hell
A thief dies in a gun battle with police, and when he reaches hell, he's given a tour and told he has a choice of how he spends eternity.
The first place he is shown has a man with oozing sores all over hime, in agony.
The next one shown is a man chained to a wall.
The next room has a bunch of people up to their waists in raw sewage drinking coffee. The murderous thief says "I guess that's my choice." He's given a cup of coffee and wades into the cesspool.
The next thing he hears is "Ok everybody, coffee break's over. Go back to standing on your heads."
Free Martian Whores!
Like my wife.
Sure, what's her facebook id?
rewriting history since 2109
Almost twelve years ago, Slashdot posted an article about the caffeine gene in coffee plants being isolated. At that time, the Futurama references were fresh, but what we all wanted was caffeinated bacon (and baconated grapefruit). Or at least caffeinated apples. An apple with caffeine would solve 100% of the problems in my life. The future was promising. We all believed that genetic engineering would allow this gene to be spliced into other vegetables, animals, and yes, even minerals by now.
Now, over a decade later, the last great promise of the pre-9/11 world has been broken. We are using science not for good, but for evil. Our only hope is that the scientists committing this blasphemy drink their own creation and fall asleep before they can finish their work.
Aye.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
"Total destruction the only solution" - Bob Marley
Couldn't these scientists build better weapons or something else useful?
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'