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Scientists Work Towards Naturally Caffeine-Free Coffee
First time accepted submitter eternaldoctorwho writes "Research has been underway to produce a coffee bean plant that naturally has no or little caffeine content. Now, it looks like that might become a reality in the near future: Paulo Mazzafera of the University of Campinas in Brazil has come closer than ever with a strain containing 'only 2% of normal caffeine levels.' Coffee, anyone?"
Wicked, tricksy, false! It chokeses, burnses us! Gollum! Gollum!
It's like taking the cocaine out of Coca-Cola.
Almost twelve years ago, Slashdot posted an article about the caffeine gene in coffee plants being isolated. At that time, the Futurama references were fresh, but what we all wanted was caffeinated bacon (and baconated grapefruit). Or at least caffeinated apples. An apple with caffeine would solve 100% of the problems in my life. The future was promising. We all believed that genetic engineering would allow this gene to be spliced into other vegetables, animals, and yes, even minerals by now.
Now, over a decade later, the last great promise of the pre-9/11 world has been broken. We are using science not for good, but for evil. Our only hope is that the scientists committing this blasphemy drink their own creation and fall asleep before they can finish their work.