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NSA Chief Denies Claims of Domestic Spying

Posted by Unknown on from the doubleplus-ungood dept.

AstroPhilosopher writes "Recently Wired, USA Today and other news outlets reported on a new spy center being built to store intercepted communications (even American citizens'). Tuesday, Gen. Keith Alexander testified in front of Congress refuting the articles. Alexander even went so far as to claim the NSA lacks the authority to monitor American citizens. It's an authority that was given to the NSA through the FISA Amendments Act signed into law by Bush and still supported today by Obama."

7 of 149 comments (clear)

  1. Hmmm... by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Luckily the NSA would never lie to us, or to congress, so I'm pretty sure that we can trust him on this one.

    1. Re:Hmmm... by demonbug · · Score: 5, Funny

      Of course! It's against the law to lie to Congress, you know!

      He had his fingers crossed, so no problem.

      As long as there's a process...

  2. Re:That made me laugh by bmo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Probably what every fratboy at the NSA would do.

    After the automated equipment picks up the phone call, they would troll each other with the gay porn audio.

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    BMO

  3. Re:The NSA is so secret by drodal · · Score: 2, Funny

    And if you work for a company that is doing work for "the agency", you have to refer to them as "the agency"
    true story

  4. Re:Domestic spying story years ago by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Immediately after their calls, they were contacted by unknown people asking what language they were speaking.

    Bullshit. Let me guess why you can't find any reference for this... does it involve some sort of government conspiracy?

  5. In other news.... by muckracer · · Score: 3, Funny

    Gen. Keith Alexander also denied the existence of Gen. Keith Alexander, thought to be NSA's Chief General. When questioned upon this subject, Alexander said: "If such a person would be at NSA, I could not comment upon that.". When asked, however, by a curious Congressman Hank Johnson, a Georgia Democrat, whether "NSA" might stand for "No Such Alexander", Gen. Alexander did not hesitate to confirm with "Yes", marking the first time a high-ranking NSA-official has made such a revealing statement publicly. Yet the astonished Congressman Johnson, new to Congress and unfamiliar with such sensitive matters, asked the NSA's envoy once more in, what was perceived as too direct a fashion: "But General Alexander, if such a Person does not exist at NSA, then who are we talking to today?" After the gasps of horror subsided, Gen. Alexander answered in his usual humorous fashion, that he became well-known for ever since serving in Germany: "I could tell you, but zen you wudd be dedd! HA HA HA".
    After the meeting adjourned, another member of Congress sighed (under condition of anonymity), that he still doesn't know who they questioned today. "I mean, there's really no such person working in no such agency (and I have no reason to doubt that this is the case), but still you sit there and listen to this person from that agency and it's like totally freaking you out, man!"
    Congressman Johnson was unfortunately unavailable for an interview. He was found dead the next morning in the Potomac river, having died of accidental causes according to, strangely, Utah Police. A spokesman said "You know, we get that a lot over there in D.C...that people drink a little too much, stumble around with their feet in some fresh concrete and then jump in the river to cool of from the intoxication, where, tragically, they get pulled to the bottom by the now solid bricks encasing their expensive shoes." The NSA was unavailable for comment...

  6. Re:Godwin. by TheRaven64 · · Score: 5, Funny

    'When Goebbels says something clever, pretend you said it' - Adolf Hitler.

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    I am TheRaven on Soylent News