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North Korea Shows Off Space Center and Launches Missile

Hugh Pickens writes "BBC reports that nobody would describe North Korea's mission control as imposing. It is a small, unremarkable, two-story building, tiny compared to Nasa's Houston home in America or Russia's space command. But the North's secretive regime, now headed by the third of the Kim dynasty to rule here, Kim Jong-un, is opening up, for the first time in an attempt to allay fears it is about to test missile technology that could deliver a warhead as far as America. 'Sixteen technicians man the satellite command center. Dressed in white coats, like doctors, they sit behind computer screens,' writes Damian Grammaticas. 'On a big screen are live pictures from the launch pad, showing North Korea's rocket being fueled up. The satellite it will carry has already been loaded on board, we are told.' Pyongyang says the minibar refrigerator-sized satellite covered with solar panels and golden foil to protect its instruments will broadcast martial music praising North Korea's founder, Kim Il Sung and is designed to monitor weather, natural disasters and agriculture patterns. As the five-day window for North Korea's rocket launch opens today, the United States has warned a launch would be a breach of UN Security Council resolutions that ban the North from testing missile technology. If North Korea goes ahead it could lead to UN sanctions, it has warned. 'That's why we have invited you, to clearly show that this is a satellite launch not a ballistic missile,' says Paek Chang-ho, head of the satellite control center. 'I hope you become supporters in showing the transparency of our satellite launch.'" After all that North Korea decided to launch a missile anyway. From the article: "The three-stage rocket, called the Unha-3, blasted off from the Soehae launch site near North Korea’s western corner with China, at about 7:39 a.m., the South Korea Defense Ministry said."

14 of 294 comments (clear)

  1. Wow! Three times! by Psychotria · · Score: 5, Funny

    Missle in the title, the summary AND the "from the pay-no-attention-to-the-missle-behind-the-curtain dept". That's gotta be a record.

    1. Re:Wow! Three times! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You see, the UN resolutions bar North Korea from launching missiles. They say nothing about missles.

  2. NK discovers life by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    After the launch...

    South Korea Defense Ministry - "On this screen you can see we are detecting vast forms of life in outer space.."

    BBC - "That looks a lot like the Pacific Ocean..."

    1. Re:NK discovers life by Sneeka2 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hint: North Korea and South Korea do not have the same kind of relationship as North Dakota and South Dakota.

      --
      Bitten Apples are still better than dirty Windows...
  3. Re:Missle? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    In North Korea, they often shorten Missile to just Miss, so they don't have much experience with the full spelling.

  4. A predictable outcome... by hyades1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    And in the belly of an oddly-configured 747 flying just beyond North Korea's radar horizon, a scientist skilled in laser technology was heard to mutter, "Pull!"

    --
    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    1. Re:A predictable outcome... by Ihmhi · · Score: 4, Funny

      You know what's worrying? There's people on things like 4chan right now that will one day be inventing stuff like this.

      "Sir, how does this laser rifle work again?"

      "Okay, first, push the button that says 'CHARGIN'. Then, press the button that says 'FIRAN'".

      *BWUUUUUUUUUUUHH*

      "Kinda sounds like a dude projectile vomiting, Sarge."

  5. Re:Missle? by mug+funky · · Score: 5, Funny

    the "i" broke off just under a minute after posting.

  6. Missle Failure by stevenfuzz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Apparently the AP is reporting that the missile broke up shortly after lauch, and has called the launch a failure. This is not entirely true. The missile broke apart releasing millions of pieces of paper simply stating "You are happy. North Korea make great party. You are not hungry.". According to officials in North Korea the launch was a great success.

  7. The jokes just write themselves by grouchomarxist · · Score: 5, Funny

    The missile was supposed to mark Kim Jong Un's ascension to power, but it failed to rise to the occasion.

  8. Re:Missle? by jhoegl · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes, one is designed to spawn fear and trepidation into the uneducated masses whilst the other is a peace time connotation for "WWWWEEEEEE we have packed, what is essentially 5 billion tons of explosives into this long tube and we hope it does what we want."

  9. Re:Fail by Dahamma · · Score: 5, Funny

    First time in ages /. has actually reported an event within hours of it happening, and if they had just waited an extra 3 minutes they could have done it right. The irony...

  10. Re:Missle? by Hognoxious · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cause of crash confirmed: they were holding it wrong.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  11. Re:Missle? by RoccamOccam · · Score: 5, Funny

    R-r-r-amjet?