Australian Billionaire Plans To Build Titanic II

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Australian Billionaire Plans To Build Titanic II

Posted by Soulskill on Monday April 30, 2012 @05:46AM from the of-course-he-does dept.

SchrodingerZ writes "Just in time to miss the 100-year anniversary of the fatal voyage of the Titanic, Australian mining billionaire Clive Palmer announced he has plans to recreate the Titanic, calling it Titanic II. 'It will be every bit as luxurious as the original Titanic but of course it will have state-of-the-art 21st Century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems,' says Palmer. He stated it was to be as close to the original as possible, with some modern adjustments. Its maiden voyage is set for 2016."

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Go Ballmer! by TechCar · 2012-04-30 05:46 · Score: 5, Funny

It would be nice to take a sail on such stylish, vintage ship. I hope they also have dress codes for women so they will wear vintage dresses. After having a nice dinner I will take some nice lady to her room and draw her naked. Then have sex with her in a vintage car. And die after we crash into New Zealand.
1. Re:Go Ballmer! by SJHillman · 2012-04-30 05:48 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Sounds a little bit like a Renaissance fair, but obviously set in the early 1900s. I could see it being a nice theme cruise. Extra points if they design it to break in half and sink.
2. Re:Go Ballmer! by vlm · 2012-04-30 06:02 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I hope they also have dress codes for women so they will wear vintage dresses.
  Yes, this is an interesting issue. As I recall the titanic was originally designed for Extreme separation of the classes, it would almost be physically impossible for steerage class and first class to ever see each other. However, the modern trend is for uniclass, with at most a slight variation in rooms which you never spend any time in anyway, as I saw on my honeymoon cruise some years ago.
  I predict much heartache, because every walmart shopping, tramp stamp wearing, pork rind munching bubbette is gonna expect she will be in first class, so she's either gonna be disappointed when she spends her cruise in steerage with, perhaps at most, a guided tour of the 1st class digs, or, she's going to be all wound up about having to pack 13 pairs of shoes because clearly the grand dining room is not going to accept thongs and flipflops in its dress code. Or she tolerates all the packing and getting dressed up and goes to the fancy dinner hoping for movie re-enactment scenes where everyone dressed up as much as herself, only to find it overrun by hoodies.
  As for the guys, all we want in a cruise ship is bikini suntanning area on the main deck and clothing optional tanning on the upper deck, which unfortunately does not fit the original plans as far as I know. So this will be boring.
  My cruise experience showed a bimodal distribution of ages, where about 1/3 where 20-something honeymooners like my wife and myself, and 2/3 were extreme senior citizens. I can see how they needed to wait 100 years for todays oldest cruiser who was just a kid during the original Titanic sinking to have died off.
  
  --
  "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
3. Re:Go Ballmer! by ColdWetDog · 2012-04-30 06:17 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Yep, sounds like cruise ship passengers. The industry term is 'newly wed or nearly dead'.
  
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  Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
4. Re:Go Ballmer! by sentientbeing · 2012-04-30 06:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  'Of course it will sink if you put a hole in it,' Mr Palmer said in response to questions from reporters on whether the Titanic replica would sink.
  
  Lowering the bar a bit this time, then.
  
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  ------
  beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
5. Re:Go Ballmer! by mu51c10rd · 2012-04-30 07:35 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  with at most a slight variation in rooms which you never spend any time in anyway, as I saw on my honeymoon cruise some years ago.
  So you barely spent time in your room on your honeymoon? Either you're doing it wrong...or you are very creative...
6. Re:Go Ballmer! by geminidomino · 2012-04-30 07:36 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Holy crap. The entirety of Southwest Florida is a cruise ship!
  It all makes so much sense, now...
7. Re:Go Ballmer! by AK+Marc · 2012-04-30 07:54 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  'Of course it will sink if you put a hole in it,'
  How long will it last with an Italian captain?
  
  --
  Learn to love Alaska
Does this guy say... by LostCluster · 2012-04-30 05:46 · Score: 2, Funny

I'M KING OF THE WORLD!?!
1. Re:Does this guy say... by ackthpt · 2012-04-30 05:58 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I'M KING OF THE WORLD!?!
  Only when his wife lets him.
  
  --
  
  A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Well, that sounds unsinkable by crazyjj · 2012-04-30 05:49 · Score: 5, Funny

but of course it will have state-of-the-art 21st Century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems
No way to sink that, then.

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What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
Probably strike a coral reef and sink by ackthpt · 2012-04-30 05:50 · Score: 5, Funny

Yeah, that would be hilarious. Oh, wait, the Italians beat him to it.

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A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
So, he's building a steampunk ship? by Narrowband · 2012-04-30 05:52 · Score: 4, Funny

"As close to the original as possible" with "state of the art 21st Century technology..." hmm.
1. Re:So, he's building a steampunk ship? by mobby_6kl · 2012-04-30 08:20 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  But don't you know that each extra smokestack gives you 1k additional horsepower!?
I plan to build Iceberg II by Anonymous Coward · 2012-04-30 05:53 · Score: 5, Funny

It'll be pretty much like the original, but with state-of-the-art 21st Century technology like pykrete to survive in more temperate waters, and the latest targeting and weapons systems.
AC for obvious reasons, MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!
1. Re:I plan to build Iceberg II by Anonymous Coward · 2012-04-30 08:08 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  OH, you should add stealth technology to it too. That would be awesome.
Re:More lifeboats. by daem0n1x · 2012-04-30 05:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Are you suggesting more government regulation is the solution? What about the passengers' inalienable right to die a horrible death in the icy waters without the nanny-state commie lifeboats oppressing them? Why do you hate liberty?
Max Capricorn Cruises.. by DC2088 · 2012-04-30 05:59 · Score: 4, Funny

The fastest, the furthest. The best. And I should know, because... My name is Max!
What I heard... by tool462 · 2012-04-30 06:02 · Score: 3, Funny

I heard he's consulting with Abercrombie & Fitch on aesthetics and design. As I understand it, the hull will be pre-distressed and cost twice what a typical cruise ship costs.
Sir, it's an emergency! by freeze128 · 2012-04-30 06:13 · Score: 4, Funny

Call me when it's a catastrophe.
Re:Built in government-owned shipyard in China by ColdWetDog · 2012-04-30 06:29 · Score: 3, Funny

He's having it built by a government-owned shipyard in China. One that has never built a passenger ship. Jinling builds large single-engine tankers, container ships, and RORO (roll-on, roll-off) vessels. Five shipyards in Finland, France, Italy, Germany, and South Korea build most of the passenger ships in the world, and Jinling isn't one of them.
This might not be as far fetched a decision as it first sounds.
Having experience with large Container ships and RORO's is perfect engineering practice for the dealing with the unique, shall we say, attributes, of the average American passenger.

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Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Re:Ah... by Mercano · 2012-04-30 06:50 · Score: 3, Funny

Only from the weight of all the lead-based paint they're "not" going to use on it.

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#include <signature.h>
Re:Will it provide the full Titanic experience? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-04-30 06:56 · Score: 4, Funny

Newsflash here: Women, like fine wine, get better with age. Also like fine wine, there is a point where they stop getting better and turn into vinegar.
Re:I'd rather swim by Gadget_Guy · 2012-04-30 06:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Exactly how superstitious are you?
I would estimate about thirteen times the national average, which is unfortunate.
Re:Will it provide the full Titanic experience? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-04-30 07:24 · Score: 2, Funny

Which is delicious on fish.