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Congress Wants To Resurrect Laser-Wielding 747

Posted by Unknown on from the it-works-on-tee-vee dept.

Harperdog writes "Noah Schactman has a great piece on the Airborne Laser, the ray gun-equipped 747 that became a symbol of wasteful Pentagon weaponeering. Despite sixteen years and billions of dollars in development, the jet could never reliably blast a missile in trials. Now the House Armed Services Committee's Strategic Forces wants the Airborne Laser to be used to defend us against the threat of North Korea's failed missiles."

12 of 302 comments (clear)

  1. what better... by Sebastopol · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...to shoot down a failed missile than a failed missile-defense program?

    --
    https://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
    1. Re:what better... by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 3, Funny

      That laser can burn a hole through a gnats brain from an altitude of 30,000 feet.

      This fact was demonstrated on one of the Pentagon's top generals.

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    2. Re:what better... by supremebob · · Score: 4, Funny

      If 80's movies have taught us anything, they're also good at popping giant balls of popcorn and destroying the homes of asshole professors.

    3. Re:what better... by TWX · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, but it'll take a real genius to figure out a better use for it...

      --
      Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
    4. Re:what better... by gstrickler · · Score: 3, Funny

      But first, may I compliment you on you choice of footwear.

      --
      make imaginary.friends COUNT=100 VISIBLE=false
    5. Re:what better... by gstrickler · · Score: 4, Funny

      Chris: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
      Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
      Chris: Not right now.
      Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

      --
      make imaginary.friends COUNT=100 VISIBLE=false
    6. Re:what better... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, the reports were inconclusive, no evidence was produced that the general had ever had a brain.

    7. Re:what better... by Samurai+Tony · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...it's because a high powered laser needs a fuckton of power...

      Is that the metric or imperial fuckton?

      --
      ...oh, and yo momma's so fat, her Schwarzchild radius is visible to the naked eye.
  2. But there is more! by oldhack · · Score: 5, Funny

    The 747 can then also fingerprint conflict minerals.

    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
  3. We must not allow... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... a failed military technology gap!

  4. Laser Jets? Pfffffft..! by vyruss000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hewlett-Packard has been building LaserJets since the 1980s...

  5. Congress Wants To Resurrect Laser-Wielding 747 by detritus. · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...And Discovery wants to crash it!