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German Authorities Find Al Qaeda Plans Disguised In Porn

According to CNN, which credits Hamburg-based newspaper Die Zeit, German investigators have uncovered a trove of more than 100 Al Qaeda documents recovered from a "digital storage device" (and memory cards) which were found hidden in the underpants of Austrian citizen Maqsood Lodin, who had recently traveled to Pakistan. The documents "included an inside track on some of the terror group's most audacious plots and a road map for future operations." Among these future plots: "[S]eizing cruise ships and carrying out attacks in Europe similar to the gun attacks by Pakistani militants that paralyzed the Indian city of Mumbai in November 2008." The documents were reportedly neither in plain view nor simply encrypted, but instead steganographically embedded in a pornographic video.

14 of 332 comments (clear)

  1. What is it with terrorists? by Lucas123 · · Score: 5, Funny

    They seem to love stuffing things down their pants, from bombs to porno-packed digital storage. This eventually will not turn out well for the propagation of their cause.

  2. So now we know by Sulphur · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why Bin Laden was watching porn.

  3. Post video please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I really would like to see this video, so I can become familiar with their steganographic techniques.
    You know, for science.

  4. Re:Dual Purposes by bugs2squash · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sounds like they bared more than just witness.

    --
    Nullius in verba
  5. blonde, brunette, red-head by Culture20 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Osama's wife: Do you always look at it encoded?

    Osama: Well you have to. There's way too much information to decode the movie in realtime. You get used to it. I...I don't even see the blonde, brunette, and red-head. All I see is our nefarious plots. Hey, you uh... want a drink?

  6. Re:It's a Trap!!!! by hoggoth · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'll take CCTV cameras on every corner.
    I'll take warrantless monitoring of my email and phones.
    I'll take radiation scanners at every airport.

    But they can pry my porn from my cold dead fingers.

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  7. it's a simple mistake, we've all made it... by Thud457 · · Score: 3, Funny

    One time I was smuggling pr0n into Germany steganographically hidden in some made up terrorist plans.
    Unfortunately, I had way more porn than plans.

    --

    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

  8. Re:It's a Trap!!!! by cayenne8 · · Score: 3, Funny
    I'm trying to picture what muslim pr0n actually is...or how one would even KNOW it was porm??

    I mean, you have some films of muslim chicks, covered from head to toe in those burka things....and have to imagine them nekkid underneath?!?

    Also, and this is purely my best guess. Not sure I'd want to see them. The men all insist on having those long scraggly beards. I have to guess under the burkas, the muslim chicks are a bit too hairy for my liking. I'm talking 70's porn type hairy, where you'd need a machete to get through it all.

    That brings up another question...muslims have food restrictions right? Can they have oral sex legally in their religion?

    --
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
  9. Re:It's a Trap!!!! by CharlyFoxtrot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't you mean: "they can pry my porn from my wet sticky fingers" ?

    --
    If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
  10. Re:As seen on Law & Order:SVU by localman57 · · Score: 4, Funny

    And SteganStanography is the art of hiding secret messages in court transcripts.

  11. Re:It's a Trap!!!! by doesnothingwell · · Score: 3, Funny

    Their gonna being prying something else from one hand at least.

    --
    They can have my command prompt when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.
  12. Re:As seen on Law & Order:SVU by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    No that's the art of hiding secret messages in a South Park character...

    - T

  13. Re:As seen on Law & Order:SVU by frisket · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's steganology. Steganography is drawing pictures of such dinosaurs.

  14. Re:It's a Trap!!!! by bartoku · · Score: 3, Funny

    Instead of up skirt shots, it was a bunch of pictures of ankles peaking out from underneath their burkas.
    No lie I saw it on the discovery channel that Arab men love when they catch a little glimpse of ankle...scandalous.

    Do religious food restrictions cover licking things, because if you are actually consuming something during oral sex you might be doing it wrong?