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No Patent Infringement Found In Oracle vs. Google
sl4shd0rk writes "Today, the jury in the Oracle vs. Google trial found no infringement of patents by Google. The jury deliberated about 30 minutes to reach the verdict, bringing an end to the second phase of the trial, and a beginning to the damage phase, which may be very little of what Oracle originally asked for. Still no word on API copyright issues. Judge Alsup will be ruling on that in the near future, and it will certainly have an impact on the developer community."
Muhahhaaha "fined" for the "time saved" in writing 9 lines of code that the judge already advised counsel he (the judge) could write in less than am afternoon. Ooooh look out, here cones a $10,000 fine. Quick, sell GOOG now!!!
And yet someone modded the GP up. Larry, don't you have better things to do with your time?
s/Larry/Florian/
Shit, juries get bribes? I need to stop trying to skip out on jury duty!
Foreman: "Does anyone understand these patents?"
Juror 7: "No, still don't."
Juror 5: "My head hurts."
Juror 6: "This better be over with soon, or I'm going to be the third juror to take a medical leave of absence. I can't stand this crap any more."
Juror 2: "All I know is if we find Google guilty, we're going to have to sit here for another week deciding damages"
{silence}
Foreman: "Case dismissed?"
Rest of jury in unison: "Not guilty!"
You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
Please keep your cult-of-personality obsession with turning this Florian guy into the Enemy Of The People over at Growklaw. Nobody else cares, thanks.
Oh, I apologize most profusely, Mr. Ballmer, er, Ellison, er... Please nudge Florian, wake him up, and convey my apology to him.
That's quite a picture to imagine, Balmer, Ellison and Mueller bending over the keyboard to post anti-Google comments, with Cook looking over the shoulder and Jobs' ghost hanging around in the corner... Kinda like this.
You forgot:
Juror 3: What is this Oracle company doing? Never heard of them.
Juror 4 (while pulling his android phone out): Me neither. Let me Google them.
Dear Oracle, Apparently your lawyers are about the same quality as your databases. When your lawyers lost, did they email technical support and receive the answer, "Please restart your database"--you know, because they hadn't tried that 5 times.
One of the Jurors was dismissed for being late because of car problems. The other was dismissed for being sick.
Oh yeah, and Google couldn't have possibly caused someone to have car problems or get sick.
Wake up! Google controls everything...
Hey, you are not allowed to publish Oracle's benchmark results!
Load New Commander (Y/N)?
On the plus side, anyone that implemented the TCP/IP protocols, HTTP, DNS, FTP, etc.. would immediately have to purchase licenses from the US Government, MIT, Berkley, UC, etc... We could solve the national debt of the USA in pretty much 1 verdict.
This has been discussed in legal channels already, and would probably harm money grubbers much more than help them.
-The wise argue that there are few absolutes, the fool argues that there are no probabilities.
Suck it, Oracle. You lose. Good day, sir!
Couldn't happen to a nicer asshole.
When all you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look like a thumb.