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Majority of Americans Think Obama Is Better Suited To Handle an Alien Invasion

Posted by samzenpus on from the lock-and-load dept.

Geoffrey.landis writes "At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel, done to tout their upcoming TV series 'chasing UFOs'. In follow-up questioning, Americans would rather call on the Hulk (21%) than either Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to save the day. No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates)." The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.

19 of 305 comments (clear)

  1. Yeah It Was in that Last Debate on ONN by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mediator: First I ask the former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, how would you handle an alien invasion?
    Mitt Romney: Simple, I'd shoot them.
    Mediator: And to you, Mr. President, how would you handle an alien invasion?
    Barack Obama: *pauses* Instead of shooting where they are ... *even longer pause* .. I would shoot at where they are going to be.
    Crowd: *breaks out in rapturous applause*
    Mitt Romney: Oh, come on, of course that's what I meant as well. I mean, I'd probably have the military figure all that out or pay someone in rubies or chickens or beads or whatever the hell it is you poor people are spending at Wal-Mart these days.
    Crowd: *boos loudly*
    Crowd Member #1: Oh, that Romney, I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
    Crowd Member #2: I've never seen a Mormon kill anyone -- let alone an alien. Have you?
    Crowd Member #3: I'd bet all my Wal-Mart rubies he doesn't win.

    --
    My work here is dung.
  2. Because secretly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...they hope the aliens take him away!

  3. Vasquez's problem? by jaymz666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    He thought they mean illegal aliens?

    1. Re:Vasquez's problem? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      They definitely meant alien invasion from the south(for lifestyle) or north(for healthcare). If anyone from another planet came here, they would pass on by thinking we are a bunch of argumentative assholes

      Yes, but *yummy* argumentative assholes...

  4. It makes a lot of sense ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Of course Obama can handle Aliens a lot better than anybody else !

    Obama himself is an Alien - that guy is from Kenya, isn't he?
     

    1. Re:It makes a lot of sense ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      But at least we know Obama's human. The jury's out on Romney.

    2. Re:It makes a lot of sense ! by Grayhand · · Score: 4, Funny

      I disagree. Romney demanding to see their long form birth certificates would have the aliens on the run. Also by taking both sides on every issue Romney shows the flexibility needed when facing am alien invasion. I mean really, can you imagine Obama saying "I for one welcome our alien overlords!" Romney can say it with a Presidential conviction that Obama could never muster. Obama would merely send in the marines to shoot them in the face. Just imagine if the aliens demanded health care! Obama would give it to them if they kept up their grades and did a hitch in the military while Romney would stand definant and insist they didn't qualify for health care unless they resided in Massachusetts. On the bright side the aliens would likely leave in disgust after a few weeks of the squabbling.

    3. Re:It makes a lot of sense ! by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 2, Funny

      It would be mutually assured destruction. Don't forget she has a Snuke.

    4. Re:It makes a lot of sense ! by PopeRatzo · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's from Hawaii genius.

      So he says, but have you ever been to Hawaii? Are you sure Hawaii exists? And even if it does exist, how do we know it's a state? Have you seen the papers that established the state of Hawaii or just reproductions of these so-called papers.

      This is why the only person who is really equipped to handle an alien invasion is America's Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. If the aliens land in Maricopa County, they'll say, "Gawd it's hot here, and the people are assholes! Let's go back to that Nazi base on the dark side of the Moon. Those guys know how to party!" Then, they'd give Arpaio the finger and engage their warp engines.

      [As a side note, I really don't want to go read this article, but can we agree that the National Geographic should be absolutely ashamed of having anything to do with a public opinion poll on which candidate would be best suited to handle an alien invasion? Didn't the National Geographic used to deal with serious topics and occasional pictures of pygmy breasts? What's the deal? I mean, Alexander Graham Bell was one of the first presidents of the National Geographic Society for chrissake. The History Channel, I can understand. They're just a cable TV network, so they've got zero credibility, but the National Geographic? I've got one of their topographical maps of the oceans taped to my wall right here. I actually learned stuff from the National Geographic at one time.

      I guess they figured that the US presidential race still needed a little more triviality and bullshit. Sometimes, I can really understand why so many people believe our culture is in such a steep decline. Are we sure that it's not a typo and was supposed to say "National Enquirer" instead of National Geographic? I guess at least we can be sure it wasn't Rasmussen or Fox News doing the poll, because then the headline would have said "Americans trust Romney more than Obama to protect nation from alien threat by a jillion percent!" Then, they'd show pictures of the two candidates with the photo of Obama darkened and the caption, "Osama - (D)"]

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    5. Re:It makes a lot of sense ! by PopeRatzo · · Score: 4, Funny

      What people outside the US believe is that you went straight to decadence from barbarianism, without the usual period of civilization.

      Yeah, and we probably kicked your country's ass on the way there. Ain't it a bitch?

      Don't worry, we'll still sell you blue jeans and movies.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
  5. Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion by FSWKU · · Score: 4, Funny

    We aready know Obama's response to an alien invasion - legislation to give them all retroactive amnesty and free citizenship. The Space Dream Act. You heard it here first.

    (only partially joking...but I've got karma to burn)

    --
    "So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
    1. Re:Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion by Attack+DAWWG · · Score: 4, Funny

      I've got karma to burn

      On Slashdot, saying that pretty much guarantees you'll be modded up to +5, no matter what else you said.

    2. Re:Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Let's try it with an AC post... I've got karma to burn.

  6. Re:Obama's solution? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    And in regards to the "invasion" part, he'd of course just change the law so that neither police nor military were allowed to intervene against the "illegal aliens"... Problem solved! (or not...)

  7. barack ack ack by an00bis · · Score: 5, Funny

    ack ack ack ACK! ack ack ack... BARACK ack ack!

    1. Re:barack ack ack by amiga3D · · Score: 4, Funny

      Why can't we all just.....get along?

  8. Re:Next question by Sique · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Atlantic is on the Pacific coast. Right?

    --
    .sig: Sique *sigh*
  9. Why would Mitt be AGAINST the aliens? by Radical+Moderate · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wouldn't he just shed his human-shaped carapice and welcome his brethren to Earth?

    --
    Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
  10. Not likely by publiclurker · · Score: 4, Funny

    since they all seem to automatically think everyone different from them is an illegal alien. Instead, they'd probably just tell them that the lawn is out back and don't forget to sweep the patio when they are done.