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LHC Discovers New Particle That Looks Like the Higgs Boson
The wait is over: new submitter Roger W Moore (among many, many other submitters) writes "The ATLAS and CMS experiments at CERN have just announced the discovery of a new particle which is consistent with a Standard Model Higgs boson. There is still a lot of work to do to confirm whether this really is the Higgs, and if so whether it is a Standard Model Higgs, but this is a major result."
This is a weighty finding.
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Glad to see we may not be a Type 13 planet after all...
How is the Riemann zeta function like Trump rallies? Both have an endless number of trivial zeros.
Obviously this is a grand conspiracy by the Europeans to distract us from what really matters today - blowing shit up! If they really wanted to celebrate the Fourth, they would have blown up CERN.
Dr Emmet Brown called. His response. "Whoa.... This is heavy!"
Now the "god particle" is proved everyone has to believe in Jesus
"Based on the Cern results alone there appears to be less than one chance in a million that this is fake, which is roughly the same probability as flipping a coin heads-up 21 times in a row."
That sounds disturbingly like aether theory.
Let me guess, this isn't "earth-shattering" news simply because it didn't happen in the US? Whether you like it or not, this is the greatest scientific discovery in the last 20 years, and it happened in europe. And the best thing is that it's july 4th, haha!
So, they might be mistaken. They've probably just detected me and got confused.
The legendary Higgs Boson is in my pants, and it feels great!
Scientists also report the particle is much smaller than expected
Already Apple have patented the new particle, on the basis that it gives the iPad mass so they must have invented it.
It's also not a Hadron.
[the Higgs field] ... then fills the universe and binds to particles giving them mass.
I'm not a physicist, so please correct me if I misunderstood. Are you saying that this field surrounds us and penetrates us, and that it binds the galaxy together?
Ah, arrogance and stupidity, all in the same package. How efficient of you. -- Londo Mollari
More importantly, with increased knowledge of the subatomic mechanics of mass we may still be on track for hoverboards and flying cars by 2015!
Thanks, you're right that I didn't get the reference. In retrospect it is obvious...
In my defence I'd like to offer that on a regular day about 67% of my brain activity goes to suppressing the memory of JarJar "MeesaSuckSoBadly" Bincks.
Hey at least The Higgs Boson sounds better than Midichlorians.
Just in case you, or someone else, didn't get the reference:
The Force
How is explaining a Star Wars reference on slashdot considered informative? That's like explaining what a bullet is on a gun forum.
Now, explain how to dress, how to coordinate an outfit or what breasts feel like... that would be informative
Your audience, know it.
Because energy was never equivalent to mass and Einstein's only contribution to humankind was the photoelectric effect.
My the Higgs Bison be with you.
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
My the Higgs Bison be with you.
No thanks. They are large, bad tempered animals. Much like politicians.
And they smell just about the same.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
I've been trying to get a peek at Cindy Higgs' bosom since high school.
Have gnu, will travel.
Electron volts per eye roll?
This is an achievement in experimental methodology.
In other words, this is Leonard making Sheldon's head explode.
Ah, do not so readily compare the two. Bison give us milk, meat, and hides. Politicians - not so much.
[the Higgs field] ... then fills the universe and binds to particles giving them mass.
I'm not a physicist, so please correct me if I misunderstood. Are you saying that this field surrounds us and penetrates us, and that it binds the galaxy together?
(Score:6, Awesome)
I for one would love a politician leather coat. Do I get to select the politician it is made from?
If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
You know when you grab a woman's breast... and it's... and you feel it and it feels like a bag of sand when you touch it...
Mass and energy are the same damn thing, ever heard of Einstein?
Yeah, that's Doc Brown's dog, what does he have to do with this?
Ezekiel 23:20