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Being Honest In Exit Interviews Is Pointless

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the but-burning-bridges-is-really-fun dept.

Esther Schindler writes "Say that you're leaving a job, either on your own volition or because they decided it was time for you to 'pursue other opportunities.' Before you leave, the HR department wants to chat with you about the employment experience, in an exit interview. 'Oh goodie,' you think. 'Now I can really tell them what I really feel.' Don't do it. If your employer couldn't find the time to ask you what was good or bad about working at the company while you were still working there, writes Lisa Vaas, why bother with honesty and potentially burned bridges now? (If they did ask, give them constructive feedback before you leave this job; they deserve it). Discuss."

27 of 550 comments (clear)

  1. Easier headline... by Darkness404 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Easier headline: exit interviews are pointless.

    --
    Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
    1. Re:Easier headline... by Macthorpe · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I don't know. I've had jobs I've hated so much that the exit interview provided some much needed catharsis to combat years of stress.

      --
      "It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him." - Tolkien
    2. Re:Easier headline... by mikeiver1 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Been there, done that, nothing good came of it at all! Exit interviews are simply pointless for the exiting employee. They are simply another keep busy activity for the over payed HR tools. I have never seen any substantial changes come of the info gleaned from them and being critical of the company, management, and your fellow past employees can only result in trouble down the line. Remember that they can't speak ill of you but they can simply answer that they would not rehire you. The kiss of death for anyone looking for a job now days.

    3. Re:Easier headline... by mmarlett · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I once told my employer that I was leaving in three months. I honestly didn't know what I was doing when I left, but it had gotten so bad for me that I just had to leave. Telling them that I was going was a great weight off my chest. About a month before I was going to leave, they scheduled an exit interview for me. I told them what I thought about what was going on. I also packed what little personal items I had and took them home with me. When I showed up the next day, I had been bared from entering the building except to go directly to HR, where the president was waiting to talk to me to tell me why my resignation was being accepted early. I insisted that he was firing me, because for me nothing was different this day than the day before. If knowing how I felt makes that much difference to them, then they are firing me. So, as was eventually backed up by the state employment agency, they fired me (and still insisted that they were just taking my resignation early). Did I burn a bridge? Not one that I ever wanted to go back across unless they were willing to rebuild it from their end. It was the environment that they created that made me decide to leave, and as long as it was as petty and difficult as it was when I left, I don't care to return.

    4. Re:Easier headline... by SydShamino · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I don't think that's true. One of the biggest reasons people voluntarily leave a company is because they didn't like their immediate manager. That's true at bad companies, and it's especially true at otherwise great companies.

      One problem during normal employment is that, very often, you are supposed to take complaints first to your immediate manager. If you don't like him, you have to either go around him (which could get you in trouble with him) or go to HR (which could get you in trouble with him).

      That said, if you do work for a good company, they may not realize that your manager isn't very good at his job. Someone has to be promoted to manager before the company learns how he manages, and not everyone will be able to adapt to it.

      So, the exit interview could be a time to let someone at the company know that, while they are a really great place to work overall with an excellent business plan, communication plan, work/life balance plan, etc., you found yourself in a situation where you didn't care for your recent immediate manager and therefore chose to move on. I doubt you've burned many bridges saying something like that, and now they know. A good company might later be willing to hire you back, especially with all the nice things you said about them overall.

      --
      It doesn't hurt to be nice.
    5. Re:Easier headline... by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 5, Insightful

      if you need a shrink to talk to, hire one.

      go to a bar. chat with the bartender.

      find some person online and vent to them.

      venting is useful and needed.

      but never vent to HR.

      --

      --
      "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    6. Re:Easier headline... by Lumpy · · Score: 5, Funny

      The one time I burned a bridge, I brought gasoline with me. My old boss was shaking so bad he could not tell me to "get out". I had a standing ovation as I left the building by co workers.

      If you are going to burn a bridge, make sure it's epic and they can see it from orbit.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    7. Re:Easier headline... by blk_prometheus · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Never, ever give an exit interview!!! Why? Because an exit interview is used by your company for legal purposes. Maybe you said in the exit interview that you had no concerns, and no negative things to say. And remember the HR representative is probably taking notes, and they may have a questionnaire for you to fill out. But then in the future maybe you decide to sue them for some reason. They'll pull out your statements from the exit interview as evidence that you have no reason to sue them. And yes, they do keep your exit interview records on file. Your own words would be used against you. Also, HR cannot withhold your final paycheck if you don't do the exit interview. That's the law!! I heard this on an NPR show about 15 years ago. The guest for the show was a woman who decided to do research on how HR departments work. While doing the research, she somehow got invited to a conference for HR professionals, where the presenter for the conference stated "It's Us against Them"!!!! Us is the HR department, which is there to protect the company!!! Them is you, the employee!!!! Don't drink the koolaid!!! Remember, HR is there to protect the company, not you.

  2. Exit Interviews are always flowery by Taco+Cowboy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Say nothing but good things -

    Tell the boss how good they are even tho they are the worst type of asshole in the universe

    Thanks the co-workers for their generous help and guidance even tho they are clumsy back-stabbers

    Give great praises the company even tho they are giving you the pink slip

    That will make them happy, and happy people (often) do not find time to do more harm to you, leaving you plenty of peaceful time to look for new jobs
     

    --
    Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
    1. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Tell the boss how good they are even tho they are the worst type of asshole in the universe

      Ummm, no. Thousands times NO! In this instances say nothing. NOTHING!

      Positive feedback only feeds the trolls.

    2. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 5, Interesting

      you can't just say nothing... uncomfortable silence is uncomfortable.

      that's your problem. work on avoiding having to give your power away.

      that's what is going on. they want to probe for weakness or reasons to 'mark you down badly'.

      nothing good comes from this. trust me. been working quite a long time in tech, in many of the top-named large and small companies. not once was an exit interview beneficial to ME. and I know for a fact that it has hurt me (a friend at a past job somehow got sight of my exit interview text and said that I was forever blackballed from returning to that place again).

      believe it.

      just say nothing or excuse yourself.

      its like getting questioned by a cop. nothing good can come from that. just say as little as you can and get the hell out of there as fast as you can.

      this is a no-win situation and they try to sell it as a way to 'fix' things that need fixing. there is zero truth to that, I assure you.

      please, for your own sake, bypass the exit interview. please. you will thank me years from now for this advice. I learned the hard way. you should not have to.

      --

      --
      "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    3. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by Sir_Sri · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Who cares unless he will be your boss in that future time.

      You care, because one thing you do not want to find out is that the person you are applying for a new job with knows someone who knows your old boss. For the same reason you don't bad mouth your old boss in a job interview - no potential future boss wants a whiner on their staff.

      My GF has a particularly bad boss, who, as it happens, is very well known in both the community and in their field. Guess how likely it is that they're going to get a call when my GF is looking for work.

      But yes, you hit the nail on the head with

      Just skip the exit interview and get on with your life.

      unless you have a very specific reason to help them improve, don't. E.g. if your job was never intended to be permanent and you're moving on to somewhere else then sure, you can gently provide generic feedback, but generally you're going to get yourself in trouble opening your mouth.

    4. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by modecx · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Sure, if they are asking about YOU, then you have a justification to act cautiously. If they're asking if you saw so-and-so drinking the other night, not so much. Unless you want to protect so-and-so from the consequences of their actions.

      Oh, sure they could be asking about your friend, or whatever, probing to find out if you were in the vicinity of a rape which involved a rapist vaguely matching your description, where some young thing got slipped a date rape drug. Oops. Cops are legally allowed to lie to you, that does not go both ways.

      During an interview you could unknowingly confess to breaking laws you might not have the faintest clue actually existed in the first place; talking allows them to develop probable cause to search, issue warrants, etc. And if they somehow catch you in a lie, no matter how innocent, and they could all of a sudden be talking obstruction of justice charges and trying to put the screws to you.

      Talking to cops is how innocent people (you're guilty of something, though, I guarantee it) wind up in trouble. It virtually cannot benefit you, it is an unlevel playing field, and the only thing that makes some cops happy is fucking with people who think like you.

      --
      Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
    5. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by GrpA · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I remember one exit interview when I was made redundant. I still remember my ex-boss saying "You know, it's OK to be unhappy about this, you really don't have to smile so much. It makes it feel like I'm doing you a favour by making you redundant"

      Which, in truth, he was.... And he already knew what I had to say about the company that wasn't so nice...

      So I convinced him that although the timing was less-than perfect, I would be fine and though he would do well. I have him advice on who could do what I did and completed a handover with him of my clients.

      Four years later, I forgot to erase them as a referee on my resume and applied for a job, which I got offered the same day. The reason? They called my former boss and said he gave such a solid reference that they had no doubt I was the best candidate they would find.

      Being honest in an exit interview has a point. Just remember to leave bitterness and vicious attitudes at the door and treat it with the professionalism it deserves, because it really is a step towards a career somewhere else.

      Good candidates have good resumes.
      Great candidates have good references from prior employers.
      Exceptional candidates have good references from the person who gave them the exit interview, because the employing company knows they will maintain their professionalism no matter how bad things get.

      GrpA

      --
      Enjoy science fiction? "Turing Evolved" - AI, Mecha, Androids and rail-gun battles. What more could you want?
    6. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by robthebloke · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Who cares unless he will be your boss in that future time.

      I've seen someone rage quit, declare his boss a moron, before starting work at a rival company. Six months later the two companies merged, and he got his old boss back. Funnily enough, he was made redundant during the restructing process.

    7. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by neyla · · Score: 5, Interesting

      On the flipside, Norways laws on that issue are fun. There's very few (and enumerated in law) situations where they can withhold your paycheck. If neither of those applies, you can file for their bankruptcy. That tends to get their attention, to put it mildly.

      Bankruptcy-filings are public - they must be afterall, because all creditors of a company has a legitimate need to know. And if there's one kind of headline that companies would like to -avoid- in the newspapers then it's headlines of the "Acme files for bankruptcy, unable to make payroll."

      The logic is that since everyone know they -should- pay you your salary, the only reasonable explanation for them not doing that is that they -can't- and if they are unable to meet their financial obligations they are, by definition, bankrupt.

    8. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by overlordofmu · · Score: 5, Informative

      The only argument you give is a single anecdote and only credential you give is revving engines at hate addicts.

      You have entirely failed to convince me. However, this law professor and police detective have me convinced of their argument.

      Don't Talk to Cops, Part 1 -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8z7NC5sgik
      Don't Talk to Cops, Part 2 -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08fZQWjDVKE

      (I realize that forty-eight minutes of video versus your seventy-five words is certainly not balanced but you have the ability to respond if you something more to add. Sorry, some lessons don't fit into a tweet.)

    9. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery by HnT · · Score: 5, Informative

      Even then, there are ways to say bad things without saying bad things

      There is a particular "code" used in references or certificates of employment you get when leaving your job here in central Europe - basically employers are not allowed to hinder you from finding a new job in any way, so they cannot say anything bad; instead they rely on very subtle differences and certain phrases to the point where you can read about this "code" in books and hear about it in trainings. An example would be saying you "always tried to do a good job", which sounds alright, right? But the code here is that is does not say "you always did an absolutely outstanding excellent job" so what they were actually saying is "you were frakking horrible", you never really did anything (hence "tried to.."). In another examples, there are certain key phrases, so if they are saying that you "always associated with your fellow employees" or something like that, then that can mean you are a mean drunk and/or sexually harassed colleagues. And there are techniques to leave things out, like not mentioning you were always polite to your superiors and customers but you were to your colleagues, then that could mean there were issues there.

      See also:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_reference_letter#Language
      http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbeitszeugnis#Zeugniscode

      --
      "Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." - Mark Twain
  3. I disagree by GrahamCox · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I have to disagree. Being honest can serve two purposes: a) it can be extremely satisfying, if you have had a very bad time of things and they are coming to an end, and b) it can highlight bad managers or other employees that have caused you so much grief and they might be reined in so that they don't continue to make life hell for others.

    I had an appallingly bad manager some time ago who made my life hell with his ultra-micromanagment and his constant snooping. He finally drove me to leave and there was a bit of a showdown - I wouldn't exactly call it an exit interview but his boss was there. I told him exactly what I thought of him and why he was such a bad manager. I think he was actually surprised that his 'style' caused so much friction. Interestingly (though too late) several people came forward afterwards and told me they had had the same experiences with the same guy, and had asked for transfers to get away from him. My response of leaving was more extreme, but driven by the same problems. I heard a few weeks later he did get moved (not fired, unfortunately) and given a role that did not involve direct people-management. So these things can have a positive result for those you leave behind.

  4. The Breakup by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Baby, it's not me, it's you. If you'd have treated me better, I'd stay but this has been going on for too long.

    Look, I've already begun seeing someone else and I don't want to cheat on you. Let's still be friends. Really, there's someone out there in this big world who is just right for you but that's not me. I really want you to be happy but I want to be happy too. I gotta go. I'll pick up my things later.

  5. I disagree by DeDmeTe · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I had a worthless boss at a job I left, I requested an exit interview with the head of HR. They didn't normally do exit interviews, but I had been there for 6 years, so they wanted to know why I was leaving. Took a few months after I left to find time for a meeting, but I laid it all out. How I felt, why I left... 2 months later I got a call to come back. They fired my old boss after I opened their eyes to the BS he was pulling. I went back.. with a nice raise and a $4k signing "bonus". It works in certain cases. YMMV.

    --
    -Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat-
  6. Re:What about ENTER interview? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    HR are part of the executive, disguised as employees, basically a corporate Trojan horse. Never trust HR. They are there to advance your employer's interests, not your interests. In all your dealings with HR, only ever do and say things that will advance your own interests.

  7. Sometimes it does good by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I worked for the biggest jerk in the world, and when I quit, I told H/R the things he had done to me, and urged them to not just take my word but to ask around.

    Later that week, they fired him and escorted him out (not typical there).

    The next day, my former coworkers had a going-away party for him, but they didn't invite him (and they did invite me).

  8. Was nice once by Killer+Instinct · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I gave a good honest exit interview when i left my first fulltime software job.. Wasnt a asshole, and kept it professional, mixed in what i didnt like and what i thought they did real well. The company has hired me back 3 times. Did the same thing at all 4 exit interviews, and maybe if i ever need a job again (with this market one never knows) i will get hired back, and that is worth a lot to me personally. But theres been a couple other places i burned the bridge down from shore to shore, not even a splinter left. Assholes had it coming....and i delivered.
    -KI

    --
    #include bier;
  9. Only if there's severance pay involved... by Angst+Badger · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ...and then be blandly pleasant. Otherwise, just don't do it. What are they going to do, fire you?

    I'm always amused at the naive goodwill that people extend to their employers. Most of us live in at-will states, without unions, and without any real workers' rights that can be exercised without spending more than they're worth retaining counsel. These are the people who can fire you at any time for any reason, but they want two weeks' warning if you leave on your own. Why give them extra freebies?

    Look, forget the employer-employee bullshit. You are a vendor, selling a service. Your employer is a customer. As long as they're buying what you're selling at the best price you can get (which includes work conditions and perceived job security as well as pay and benefits), the customer is always right. As soon as they stop buying, or you find someone willing to pay more, then go attend to your new customer. The old customer wants to take more of your time for free? Politely decline. You're running a business -- you -- and the only point in giving something away free is if it leads to another sale.

    Don't bother with work ethic or pride in your job at this point. Those are good concepts and they have their place, but that place is well before anyone starts talking about exit interviews. If you're leaving voluntarily, they treated you well, and you feel like extending the courtesy, sure. But even then, don't say anything that can be used against you later. It's just business, and that's how they see it. Go and do likewise.

    --
    Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
  10. Re:Exit Interviews are always flowery - updated by MightyMartian · · Score: 5, Funny

    This message brought to you by the Richard M. Nixon Center for Career Planning.

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  11. Re:Wish I could've had one at HP by jsm18 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let it go Carly.