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US Agricultural Economists Say Bacon Shortage Is Hogwash
PolygamousRanchKid writes "The economics of the current drought are likely to nose up prices for bacon and other pork products next year, by as much as 10 percent. But U.S. agricultural economists are dismissing reports of a global bacon shortage that lent sizzle to headlines and Twitter feeds last week. Simply put, the talk of scarcity is hogwash. 'Use of the word 'shortage' caused visions of (1970s-style) gasoline lines in a lot of people's heads, and that's not the case,' said Steve Meyer, president of Iowa-based Paragon Economics and a consultant to the National Pork Producers Council and National Pork Board. 'If the definition of shortage is that you can't find it on the shelves, then no, the concern is not valid. If the concern is higher cost for it, then yes.'"
Yea verily, we may have escaped the terrifying "bacon shortage" foretold by our farmer-sages but as a ones-and-zeros smith, I will reveal a much scarier future that is imminent and knocking at our door: a ones and zeros shortage. Yes, that's right, you heard me, Earth has reached its quota of ones and zeros. As our localized reserves of information go up, elsewhere in the universe entropy must be accounted for in order to preserve the Second Law of Thermodynamics. We have all but destroyed Alpha Centuri with viscous randomness as we greedily ate up our own terrestrial order and logic. Physics has heard of our blasphemy and she is vengeful!
... a hair below the capital gains rate will feed me peanuts and allow me to upgrade my housing from pizza boxes to refrigerator boxes.
What can you do? Well, as a developer who can write in many languages including C, I will be able to squeeze much more usage out of your precious ones and zeros than, say, my Indian counterparts. Oh, sure, now software is cheap but the demand is imminent and workers like myself will be harder to find than a two on your hard drive. Knowing that violent unrest will break out when people can no longer access their Farmvilles and pornography, I offer my services at a meager rate so nigh our hour of darkness. Friends, readers, Romneys, rich and potential employers -- I am not asking for much to protect your software as a ones and zeros guardian
Thou hath wrought the wrath of thine swine overlords and thou hath felt its mighty cloven hoof. Now I am simply asking you that, in your cellars where you have squirreled pound upon pound of bacon inside deep freeze upon deep freeze inside freight container upon freight container, you employ me and house me to ensure all your computing needs are safe and secure among thine horded cured brine meats.
I urge you, take this offer now before the coming very real and very well explained (see above) shortage renders my colleagues and I safe inside massive corporations and extremely financially secured without need for employ.
My work here is dung.
The concern is increased prices, it has never been that you won't be able to get bacon but that you will have to pay twice as much for it.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
This isn't made up at all, there is a pork shortage, as in much less pork available now then at the same time last year.
Don't know the difference between shortage and rationing as a result of price controls.
No wonder we are so totally fucked in all things economic.
- Laid-off guys can stop fretting about not being the one to "bring home the bacon", because nobody is
- Wall Street bankers will have to learn to eat low on the hog
- In Washington, we'll start to see more "pork pail" projects
- Schoolkids will grumble about opening their lunchbags and getting "LT sandwiches"
You wasted a lot of time and space on a very pathetic joke.
Guess I'll just just have to forgo bacon in the morning. I'll just have sausage or ham instead.
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
Let's all argue over how to spell "shortage" - fairly sure it's not C-R-I-S-I-S.
In other alarming news, due to the observer effect in physics, it has been determined that increasingly powerful earth telescopes are wrecking havok throughout the observable universe. Intelligent aliens from the Horsehead Nebula sent a message this morning, saying "Knock it off."
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
Well, at least his post lived up to his sig this time
which is totally what she said
NOOO. Bacon is the central pillar of my diet. BLTs, Bacon Omelets, Bacon wrapped meat of all kinds, Bacon wrapped bacon. How will I live without my lovely bacon?
No sigs in BETA. Beta SUCKS.
is making me hungry.
Yes, there's going to be a global shortage. No, nobody reading this will have to go without. Yes, you may find yourself sighing a little and eating a bit less. No, that's not the end of the world. Yes, it will seem like it.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Well, at least his post lived up to his sig this time
Two hate posts getting modded up? Can't just mod my post down, huh? Duly noted. Guess I'll go somewhere else. Enjoy your site!
My work here is dung.
Its funny for the same reason "quoth the kitten, buy some more" is funny on amazon. Creative writing can turn a lame joke into an excellent read. Well done, eldavojohn.
wreaking*
HAND
which is totally what she said
If price didn't increase, you wouldn't be able to get bacon... Either this, or rise in price means there will be (more) taxes on bacon.
both
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
Once the election is over, pork production will increase significantly. It already exceeds the money supply though but the presses are working around on that!
No worries about the ones and zeroes shortage. We'll have plenty from recycling all of the iOS Fart Apps.
The reason for the gas lines in the 1970's is that Jimmy Carter and Co. artificially held prices low and limited / rationed the amount of gas each store could sell (to give everyone an equal opportunity). Once the gas station sold their allotment they closed for the day since there was no point in staying open. People would show up earlier to get their gas in turn causing the gas stations to run out and close earlier. Repeat repeat repeat.
If Jimmy Carter had stayed out of the market, the prices would have gone up with no lines. Now, we have the opposite problem -- an administration who issues oil leases but no permission to actually drill and fights all efforts to build any additional oil refineries all in an effort to drive UP prices to get us to drive our Prius' and Chevy Volts poor people be damned.
Convert to Islam all you infidels, and then you will never worry about bacon prices ever again ...
No, you don't "wreck" havoc. You wreak havoc. Pronounced "reek". Wreck is pronounced "rehck". Oh also, it's havoc. Havok is a Physics engine..
which is totally what she said
I am going to run for government on the platform of creating a Strategic Bacon Reserve. My campaign slogan? "The kind of pork you can get behind!"
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
No, you don't "wreck" havoc. You wreak havoc. Pronounced "reek". Wreck is pronounced "rehck". Oh also, it's havoc. Havok is a Physics engine..
Oh, now you're just wringing amoc.
You're incorrect.
Nixon imposed price controls on November 27, 1973, as part of the response to the Yom Kippur war and the oil-producing states' actions to cut oil exports to the United States.
Carter began deregulation of oil prices in April 1979.
The decease in availability they are predicting is about 1%. In the US that means we'll "only" be able to eat about 40 pounds of pork products per person per year.
I really can't see how you'd define that as a "shortage" in any reasonable parlance. We aren't taking about something where the price will have to skyrocket because very little will be available (or that if the price was kept low it would be out of stock everywhere).
Next they'll tell us there is no real threat of a zombie apocalypse.
Laid-off guys can stop fretting about not being the one to "bring home the bacon", because nobody is
Pharamacists can get dihydrocodeinone enol acetate, which is fairly close.
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
High pork belly prices are caused by limited supplies of corn, partly because of the drought in the US Corn Belt this summer and partly because using corn to make ethanol takes a lot of it out of the mouths of babes (baby pigs that is).
seems like we're one step closer to Soylent Green.
"The hallmark of humanity is the ability to move beyond sensory inputs" - Mary Helen Immordino-Yang
For all intensive purposes, the point is mute.
You know what? Fuck them all.
Between the government lying to us all the time for their own dogmatic reasons, the media lying to us for their own stupid reasons, foreign governments lying to us for their trade oriented reason, they can go sit on a pig and be pork fucked.
I'm tired of this endless yammering. It used to be media and government yammering on a topic. Then much like the news, it became all opinon. Then it became commentary on opinion. I mean, I know in the US we don't build or make anything anymore, does that include facts or math? Is all this now just babbling about bacon, bacon commodities, Ouija board analysis going anywhere?
The nice thing is, it doesn't matter. Nobody needs pork. Delicious as it is, who gives a fuck. If not eating it causes these parasites one millisecond of irritation it's worth never eating again.
There is so much random chaotic shit going on that the freemarket exists. Since there's so much control, speculation, outright lies, they all cancel each other out. So the new idea is, if it costs too much, I'll stop eating it. I no longer give a fuck if it's due to drought, corn meal prices, or velociraptors. If it's cheap, I'll buy, if it costs to much, I won't.
Seriously. Other than pig farmers, distributors, and other parasites, why is this news? Who cares if pork is going to be pricey for a year or two. Are there entire communities of the "poor" who need cameras stuck in their face because they can only process pork? Can they be led, pied piper style with a strip of bacon into a raging river?
I shouldn't have gone long on corn bellys!
But iOS is based on Mac OS X, which uses a trash can instead of a recycling bin!
Actually bacon is taken from the side and rear of the pig. The hogwash is used to make Mountain Dew.
If your bitterest enemies are people who hack the heads off civilians, then I would say you're doing something right.
Bah! You are simply uninformed brother as all that know the truth know the future is recycling and renewables! To avert this disaster we need to recycle all that FORTRAN and C code to to more number efficient formats with higher letter to number ratios such as Java and .NET, just as replacing all those piggish P4s with energy efficient low power chips saves energy so too can replacing number sucking code with more letter heavy code can save TONS of ones and zeroes a year and is better for the environment to boot!
ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
Just Saying ...
Avoid your fears , or wonder at the past
All I can say is, if the price goes up, the quality damn well better increase as well. When I buy a BLT I expect it with RED tomatoes, FRESH green lettuce, Melted Cheese, etc. etc.
You get the picture?
...in my mouth, of course...
Arrrrgggghhhh, must resist correcting so many deliberate errors.
Sara
Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
Do I need to cancel my 400 lb bacon order from McGonigles?
So, you want to replace the slow processors with fast ones, and replace the fast languages with slow ones. Sigh.