Ask Steve Wozniak Anything

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Posted by samzenpus on Monday October 1, 2012 @04:25AM from the ask-and-you-shall-hear dept.

He co-founded Apple Computer, he's a programmer and engineer who invented the Apple I and Apple II computers, he's one of our most influential readers, he is known simply as Woz. To kick-off our 15th anniversary month, Woz has agreed to take some time to answer a few of your questions; as with other Slashdot interviews, you're invited to ask as many questions as you'd like, but please ask them in separate posts. We'll be running a number of other special interviews this month, so keep your eyes open.

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I know you like jokes by TheRealMindChild · 2012-10-01 04:28 · Score: 4, Funny

What is your favorite joke?

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"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
1. Re:I know you like jokes by dkleinsc · 2012-10-01 05:20 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Well, according to actual scientific research in the UK, this was the world's funniest joke:
  
  Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
  He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
  
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  I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
2. Re:I know you like jokes by SteveWoz · 2012-10-01 05:54 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Too many jokes to have a favorite. Your quote reminds me of a Blue Collar comedy response to the answer "make lemonade." Ron White said he wanted to find the person whose life gave them vodka."
  I had favorite jokes in the days before PC but they were mostly Polish jokes. The Polish American Congress, inc. threatened me with lawsuits for defaming Polish people. I asked if it was ok to tell them as Italian jokes instead and they said, "fine."
  I told a joke at the Engineering graduation at U. Colorado, Boulder once to point out how people don't think logically. Q: What do you call four Mexicans in Quicksand? A: Quatro cinco (sinko). It doesn't stereotype or demean Mexicans. It's a funny use of words. But I got told that I had offended 400 people.
  When I took foreign languages I tried to get to the point where I could make a joke all in that language. Japanese words were so different than ours that I thought I'd never be able to construct a joke that any American would get. Then we learned that the word for umbrella was kasa. The next class day I was walking to class with my son and it started sprinkling. I pulled out my umbrella and said "mi casa su casa." (kasa).
  
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  OK a new size TV
Re:Why Freemason? by juanfgs · 2012-10-01 04:31 · Score: 5, Funny

As an open source fanatic, freemasonry has always rubbed me a little the wrong way
Would you like him better if he was an OpenMason?
Re:Why Freemason? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-01 04:40 · Score: 5, Funny

Is he a FreeAsInBeerMason, or a FreeAsInSpeechMason?
Re:My question to Woz by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-01 05:01 · Score: 1, Funny

Actually, I think a more interesting question is:
Is Kathy Griffin a real red head?
Re:All Questions All The Time... by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-01 05:15 · Score: 1, Funny

Woz: "The answer to your question is your question. And my answer to your question is my answer."
Re:Why Freemason? by Quiet_Desperation · 2012-10-01 06:02 · Score: 4, Funny

I don't see why your concern is exclusive to masony. What about running clubs? Play-dates? Or hell, even bowling leagues?
You scoff, but a rogue bowling league nearly took over Canada in the 1970s. They were defeated by the Mounties and internal squabbling within The League (as they called themselves) over handicaps and ranking officers by shoe size.
Never heard of this? Of course not. The Masons covered the whole thing up.
Re:Which of your design tricks are you proudest of by SteveWoz · 2012-10-01 07:25 · Score: 5, Funny

Mine too. I had never worked with any disk drive of any type nor any operating system. A chance popped up that if I had a working floppy disk in 2 weeks I could go to the city of Las Vegas. Having no idea how they worked I put my head together and thought out a simple scheme with some clever parts (state machine) and it truly was a miracle. Today I have no idea how you create things in such a way. They couldn't have motivated me with money or stock, but getting to Las Vegas was worth it.

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OK a new size TV
Re:How do you feel about Apple? by Myopic · 2012-10-01 07:34 · Score: 3, Funny

"we ported iTunes to Windows. We now addressed 100% of the world's market"
Oh, snap, you're going to piss off the Linux users.
IHOP @ Cupertino closing by mdpbom · 2012-10-01 08:22 · Score: 3, Funny

Your favorite IHOP and my nearest (Stevens Creek/Cupertino) is closing, have you send your complaint to the Cupertino council? Where can I go next for my pancakes? We need pancakes!
Karma Whore by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-01 08:49 · Score: 0, Funny

Hey Woz,
Stop replying to people questions with your account. Either answer them when Slashdot send the questions to you (like everybody else) or post answers as AC.
Thanks,
Mods.
PS. Thanks for your replies! I'm out of mod points!