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Why Are We So Rude Online?
kodiaktau writes "An article in the WSJ discusses why internet users are more rude online than they are in person. The story discusses some of the possible reasons. For example, a study found that browsing Facebook tends to lower people's self control. An MIT professor says people posting on the internet have lowered inhibitions because there is no formal social interaction. Another theory is that communicating through a phone or other device feels like communicating with a 'toy,' which dehumanizes the conversation. Of course, a rude conversation has never happened on Slashdot in the last 15 years."
Why, it's the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory that explains it
Not so much a meme but definitely a much earlier study into this phenomena.
The Milgram experiment shows us not that people are inherently evil, malicious or spiteful but that in the right social context people will follow an authority figure's instructions even if it overrides their normal moral response.
What exactly is the difference? If you substitute an authority's conscience for your own, you are inherently evil. It is this reaction that is responsible for the great majority of evil in the world.
The sickest psychopath in the world is capable of killing a few dozen people on his own. But a psychopathic leader is capable of killing millions. All that extra blood isn't really on the hands of the leader, it's on the hands of those who chose to follow that leader. Those who thought obedience was the best thing. That's where true evil comes from.
I don't see how this is complicated at all. Authoritarianism is evil, and most people are authoritarians. Ergo, most people are evil.
One of the interpretations of this behaviour by Milgram himself: "the essence of obedience consists in the fact that a person comes to view themselves as the instrument for carrying out another person's wishes, and they therefore no longer see themselves as responsible for their actions. Once this critical shift of viewpoint has occurred in the person, all of the essential features of obedience follow".
And in this case I agree with Milgram, if it is the case that people shed moral responsibility and adopt the aspect of a tool, instrument or cog in the machine when dealing with an authority figure demanding they do something they find personally amoral then it seems to me to be a defence mechanism to protect and preserve their own moral viewpoint as the other alternatives are:
1. Defy the authority figure, possibly be fired, suffer a court martial or be shot depending on the situation
2. Change your moral beliefs to match those of the authority figure
Since, I would argue, most people have a preference for not being shot and an affinity towards good moral thought and behaviour they can't reasonably choose 1 or 2 and so are left with:
3. Shed moral responsibility for the action and leave that responsibility to the decision maker and authority figure.
It shouldn't be inferred from the Milgram or Stanford experiments that all humans are evil given the right circumstances, but rather, that given the right circumstances good people can do evil or amoral things.
Yes, you should be able to control your emotions, but that doesn't mean someone can't make you mad. You don't get to pick your feelings, you just have them.
When someone does manage to get under my skin that, the onus is now on me to figure out why. There'll always be lots of people who'll try to irritate me and therfore 'control' me, but only if I allow it.. Whether we know it or not, we are, with practice, fully capable of deciding if that person is going to decide our mood. If I react badly to each and every one that tries to 'rule' me, I'm gonna be an unhappy f@#k most of my life, not in my 'life plan'.
For me, I learned the trick to this is 1) Identifying the underlying cause for"why does this person piss me of so much?", then 2) Trying to put myself in that person's place. What made that person into the miserable @#%$ that they are?
Look, I'.m typing tired here, can't get my point across right. Even if you can't change the person, if you "understand" them, it goes a long way to help you realize why it's not that important what a poor angry fool thinks about you. Feel sorry for them. And I've heard that the key to happiness is... Forgive everybody everything. Across the board forgiveness. It's not really for them you do this, it's really for your peace of mind. Let that shit all go. Life is mostly little shit, and when you're 80 or 90 you can look back and see that easier.
Look, you're not gonna' get this overnight. Took me years to finally understand, others might 'get it' much quicker than me, I'm sure. It takes practice. Doing it over and over again. Some time down the road, it'll become 'second nature' for you. Do your best, that's all that's expected of us, that we're 'trying' to be a bit better than we were the day before. Peace to you, my friend. SF