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New Zealand Turning Hobbits Into Actual Cash
Curseyoukhan writes "With its economy struggling, New Zealand hopes to cash in on 'The Hobbit' by turning it into actual cash. The nation is releasing special commemorative coins depicting characters from J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved book. The coin release coincides with the premiere of the first installment in Peter Jackson's film adaptation of the book. It is also part of a publicity campaign aimed to rebrand the country '100 percent Middle Earth.'"
Personally, I'd grind my hobbits into a paste and sell it as health food. I'd make millions!
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I've been short changed before but this is ridiculous!
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
the value of New Zealand's currency has doubled, hurting exports and making it more expensive for tourists. Some 15 percent of the offices in Wellington's business district are empty.
Maybe they should quit trying to structure their society into an amusement park and rely on others to handle the practical concerns that keep them alive, and instead take a hint from the likes of, say, North Korea, who actually face the problems that life puts in front of them and address them with their own hands instead of passing the buck to someone else like a little bitch.
-1 Uncomfortable Truth
Forget future historians, in 600 years, when Hobbitism rises as the worlds newest major religion, the coins will be used by fundamentalists as proof that Hobbitism is the One Truth, and encouragement for the furthering of their grim beliefs.
A large sect of Hobbitics in Western Europe will base their entire world view on the belief that there was no allegory or symbolism in the Lord of the Rings, and thus Balrogs do have wings, foxes are sentient, and that if you become suitably evil, you'll turn into a floating eyeball. They'll lobby the Grande Bankocracy of America to force the teaching of Ainuism as an alternative to Evolution. In late November, they will gather together in a large field with a bucket of these coins, separate into five groups, and then murder each other until someone spots an eagle. Then, the group with the shortest individual gets all the gold.
Why don't people think about consequences when they make commemorative coins like this?
[/far-too-much-tolkien-knowledge]
"I'll get wood for two hobbits," indeed.
Kinky.
I am officially gone from