Physicist Explains Cthulhu's "Non-Euclidean Geometry"

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Physicist Explains Cthulhu's "Non-Euclidean Geometry"

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday October 31, 2012 @12:02PM from the dead-but-dreaming dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Mathematician Benjamin K. Tippett has written a fascinating and deadpan paper (Pdf) giving insights into Cthulhu. A 'Bubble' of warped Space-Time makes alarmingly consistent sense of the dead God's cyclopean city under the sea. From the paper: 'We calculate the type of matter which would be required to generate such exotic spacetime curvature. Unfortunately, we determine that the required matter is quite unphysical, and possess a nature which is entirely alien to all of the experiences of human science. Indeed, any civilization with mastery over such matter would be able to construct warp drives, cloaking devices, and other exotic geometries required to conveniently travel through the cosmos.'"

14 of 179 comments (clear)

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

Mathematician or parapsychologist? by Horshu · 2012-10-31 12:12 · Score: 5, Funny

This is the point where his boss should tell him, "The purpose of science is to serve mankind. You seem to regard science as some kind of dodge... or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist, Dr. Tippett."
1. Re:Mathematician or parapsychologist? by EdIII · 2012-10-31 18:20 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  The best come back ever came from this movie:
  "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick" - Bill Murray.
Why settle for the lesser evil? by stevegee58 · 2012-10-31 12:20 · Score: 5, Funny

Cthulhu 2012!
1. Re:Why settle for the lesser evil? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-31 12:27 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I demand to see Cthulhu's birth certificate.
2. Re:Why settle for the lesser evil? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-31 12:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I demand to see Cthulhu's Death certificate.
3. Re:Why settle for the lesser evil? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-31 12:51 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Everyone who views the birth certificate goes mad, so it is really hard to verify.
4. Re:Why settle for the lesser evil? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-31 12:59 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  He ain't dead, he's restin'. Remarkable tentacles on him.
5. Re:Why settle for the lesser evil? by staalmannen · 2012-10-31 19:16 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Anyone else noticed the similarities between tentacles and noodly appendages? The flying spaghetti monster - Chutulu's second coming?
Fitted Sheets by ShakaUVM · 2012-10-31 12:20 · Score: 5, Funny

If you truly wish to understand non-Euclidean geometry, simply try putting those damn fitted sheets on a bed. No matter which way you rotate it, you always end up with the short side in your hands.
It is enough to drive a man insane.
Re:Gods with pitchforks. by RanCossack · 2012-10-31 12:22 · Score: 4, Funny

What does God need with a starship?
Re:So it's a Sci-Fi? by jest3r · 2012-10-31 12:32 · Score: 4, Funny

This unphysical non-Euclidean post brought to you by Hewlett Packard.
Re:Not the kind of technology you are used to by tycoex · 2012-10-31 13:01 · Score: 4, Funny

The Goa'uld are not gods! :)
Re:Just wondering about the tags.. by tftp · 2012-10-31 15:08 · Score: 3, Funny

Is Itanium powered by the souls of the innocent?
You cannot power anything with the souls of the innocent. There are too few of those to have commercial value.
Cthulhu printers... by Anonymous Coward · 2012-10-31 18:08 · Score: 2, Funny

So THAT'S why the printer ink runs out so quickly... all becomes clear.