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Department of Homeland Security Wants Nerds For a New "Cyber Reserve'"

Posted by samzenpus on from the grabbing-geeks dept.

pigrabbitbear writes "Just three weeks after Defense Secretary Leon Panetta told an audience at the Sea, Air and Space Museum that the U.S. is on the brink of a 'cyber Pearl Harbor,' the government has decided it needs to beef up the ranks of its digital defenses. It's assembling a league of extraordinary computer geeks for what will be known as the 'Cyber Reserve.'"

12 of 204 comments (clear)

  1. NO! by ganjadude · · Score: 4, Funny

    you cannot commandeer /.!

    --
    have you seen my sig? there are many others like it but none that are the same
    1. Re:NO! by ColdWetDog · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe not but if they handed out T-shirts, geeks would be all over it.

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      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  2. Cyber Reserve? by chill · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know they are jealous of Best Buy and wanted to call this the Geek Squad.

    --
    Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
    1. Re:Cyber Reserve? by siddesu · · Score: 5, Funny

      You may laugh, but I already applied. Try to beat the photo on my resume. http://www.chaosscenario.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/27/internet.jpg

    2. Re:Cyber Reserve? by Warhawke · · Score: 4, Funny

      I figured Cyber Men would be a better name for an extended army of...

      Oh.

    3. Re:Cyber Reserve? by tehcyder · · Score: 3, Funny

      Cyber!

      a/s/l?

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
  3. Assembling? by The+Grim+Reefer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or rounding up?

    [puts on tinfoil hat]

  4. Don't sign up the best, send away the worst by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can't help thinking we'd be better off sending our very worst programmers overseas instead. If you really are a computing screw up, the kind of guy that turns a "hello world" into an infinite loop, your truly are an asset to this nation and we'll gladly sponsor your job application to iran or north korea. Problem solved.

  5. sorry leon by Lehk228 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sorry leon, /b/ still is not your personal army

    --
    Snowden and Manning are heroes.
  6. I'll work cheap... by GodfatherofSoul · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...just hook me up with some of them Colombian hookers the Secret Service has been recruiting for their Randy Reserves.

    --
    I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
  7. New Perl Harbor: The Sequel by Penurious+Penguin · · Score: 3, Funny

    New Pearl Harbor is a melodramatic pre-imagining of the teenage attack on U.S. power-grids and the subsequent DooAlittleMoreThanNecessary Raid. While not directed by Michael Bay, fans of his in the CIA have collaborated with the makers of Innocence of Muslims and Rupert Murdoch in this captivating mind-wrenching sequel.

    "When you see the part where Leonardo DiCaprio telnets into the Pentagon and sends drones to Moldova, you'll shit your pants!" -- Sock Puppet Reviews

    "If you told me Justin Bieber could've played such a convincing hacker, I'd have laughed in your face" -- Hillary Clinton

    "It brought tears to my eyes, and I was a POW." -- J. McCain

    "Thank Yahweh for benzodiazepines! " -- Janet Napolitano (Eight-Time Mother of the Year Award Winner)

    "You'll need your Mountain Dew for this one!" -- Anonymous

    *Partially plagiarized from wikipedia.

    --
    Forward! -- Emperor Norton, 2012
  8. I WANT YOU! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://www.nationaldefensemagazine.org/archive/2011/August/PublishingImages/Cyber_UncleSam.jpg