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Hostess To Close; No More Twinkies

RenderSeven writes "In a press release issued today, baker Hostess Brands asked a bankruptcy court for permission to close all of its plants and sell off their assets, immediately laying off 18,500 workers. Citing high labor and rising health care costs, increasing competition and growing consumer awareness of healthy foods, Hostess says it can no longer operate without union concessions. A crippling strike has already shut down operations at all facilities, and while the Teamsters Union has ratified a new contract to keep Hostess in business, the Bakers Union has refused saying they would rather see the company closed than accept pension cuts. The Teamsters union is urging the bakers union to hold a secret ballot on whether to continue striking; citing its financial experts who had access to the company's books, the Teamsters say that Hostess' warning of liquidation is 'not an empty threat or a negotiating tactic' but a certain outcome if workers keep striking. If your late-night programming is fueled by Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Zingers, better stock up now." [Editor's note: A whole bunch of users submitted this news. I worry about our readership's cholesterol levels.]

8 of 674 comments (clear)

  1. Zombieland... by broginator · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tallahassee said to be inconsolable.

    --
    s/[stupid comments]/[intelligent discourse]/gi
    1. Re:Zombieland... by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 5, Funny

      Poylsorbate 80

      America 0

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    2. Re:Zombieland... by masmullin · · Score: 4, Funny

      There will always be someone wrong on the internet.

      This is an incorrect statement.

  2. Run on Twinkies? by alphatel · · Score: 5, Funny
    --
    When the foot seeks the place of the head, the line is crossed. Know your place. Keep your place. Be a shoe.
    1. Re:Run on Twinkies? by drkim · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or bail them out?

      We must bail them out.

      They are too tasty to fail.

  3. Post-apocalypse... by dywolf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Twinkies are already pretty valuable in the post apocalyptic world.
    Now they're rare too? Who needs gold when you got a twinkie warehouse!

    --
    The guy who said the election was rigged won the presidency with the second-most votes.
  4. Re:WTF!?!?!? by roc97007 · · Score: 4, Funny

    They'll eat carrot sticks and like it!

    --
    Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
  5. Re:GO UNIONS! by drkim · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...liquidate the company to suck the corpse dry.

    ...The Baker's Union decided not to cooperate in their own rape. The surprise here is that the Teamsters rolled over and said "you'll like it better if you can't hear me whimpering because I'm facing away from you."

    Not a comment on the accuracy or viewpoint of your post, but instead of 'corpse' and 'rape' analogies; wouldn't it be more appropriate to say, "...sucked the creamy cash filling out of the company..." or "...stuffed the unwilling Teamsters with dark chocolaty pudding..."