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NASA: Curiosity Has Found Plastic On Mars

Posted by samzenpus on from the mars-needs-organic-polymers dept.

dsinc writes "Last week Curiosity was able to use its SAM (Sample Analysis at Mars) device to confirm the discovery. A robotic arm with a complex system of Spectral Analysis devices was able to vaporize and identify gasses from the sample, concluding that it is in fact plastic. How plastic formed or ended up on the Martian surface is quite an exciting mystery that sparks many questions. The type of plastic sampled as we know so far can only be formed using petrochemicals, meaning not only that there could possibly be a source of oil on the Red Planet, but that somehow it got turned into plastic. Even more interesting is that oil or petrochemicals used to create this type of plastic are only known to come from ancient fossilized organic materials, such as zooplankton and algae, which geochemical processes convert into oil pointing to the earthshaking evidence that there was once life on mars. 'Right now we have multiple working hypotheses, and each hypothesis makes certain predictions about things like what the spherules are made of and how they are distributed,' said Curiosity's principal investigator, Steve Squyres, of Cornell University. 'Our job as we explore Matijevic Hill in the months ahead will be to make the observations that will let us test all the hypotheses carefully, and find the one that best fits the observations.'" Update: Yes, it's a hoax

3 of 293 comments (clear)

  1. MARS IS A FAKE! by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 5, Funny

    The whole think was nudged into place by Stanley Kubrick.

    --
    "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
    Never been known to fail..."
  2. George Carlin, the prophet by ThePhilips · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hereby officially announce George Carlin to be our prophet.

    --
    All hope abandon ye who enter here.
  3. Late-Breaking News: PSYOPS! by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    Laughter and derision swept across our fair red world today as the Council of Elders confirmed the success of an intelligence coup against the green diagonally-tilted controlling intelligences (and their accompanying green spherule-shaped periodic functions) who continue to operate from undisclosed locations on the sinister blue planet.

    K'Breel, Speaker for the Council, spoke thus:

    Today marks another victory in our ongoing psyops campaign against the blueworlders. Renjoice, podmates, at the consternation of our enemies! On the homefront, our forces continue to track and monitor the intruder's activity. Laser-resistance is not the only means we have to defeat the intruder. Late-breaking news indicate great results achieved through our psychological operations division.

    When an elder member of the press corps suggested the psyops campaign in question consisted merely of deceiving "Editing Unit #5" into linking to http://nasaupdatecenter.us/press.html instead of http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/newsroom/pressreleases/20120928a.html, K'Breel had the young reporter's gelsacs slashed, after which the small, rounded particles were first catalyzed into plastic, and upon further heating, reduced to volcanic lapilli.

    (An audio recording of Reporter #54550 screaming "Sorry, samzenpus, you put your foot in it today, I swear to CmdrTaco it wasn't me! No hard feelings! Don't devitrify me, 'bro!" as he was led away to the thermal polymerization chamber, has not been authenticated.)