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Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters
You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."
Then again, it takes all kinds of stupid people, like stupid people like you who don't realize there is more than one reason people are fat.
Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
If the Segway was not so damn expensive, more people might use them.
Yup. I wanna look like a fucking jackass, but it costs too much money.
Thank you, Edward Snowden.
"Arguments from authority are worthless." —Carl Sagan
Yeah, and when Mayor Bloomberg tried to ban the gigantic corn syrup buckets otherwise known as supersized sodas all the fat fucks got outraged, how dare the government interfere with mah eatins!! Well, you can't have it both ways, either the government bans trash foods or people can stop gobbling crap on their own.