Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters

Posted by samzenpus on from the I've-been-sweating-like-a-sucker dept.

You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."

6 of 483 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Did You Think, Maybe... by Jmc23 · · Score: 0, Troll
    Well, there are those fat people who it does occur to but are two stupid to understand that you need a certain amount of fat and calories, so their bodies go into starvation mode and they stay fat living like a bird.

    Then again, it takes all kinds of stupid people, like stupid people like you who don't realize there is more than one reason people are fat.

    --
    Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
  2. Re:Isn't this just bulimia? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Depends what you mean by "bulimia", I guess. Like anorexia, I thought the disease was characterised by its psychological components

    Such as being a drama queen?

    I am the high priest of the church of the painful truth.

  3. Re:Did You Think, Maybe... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    This. Fat people are kings of the American victim complex.

  4. Re:revolutionary! by cffrost · · Score: 0, Troll

    If the Segway was not so damn expensive, more people might use them.

    Yup. I wanna look like a fucking jackass, but it costs too much money.

    --
    Thank you, Edward Snowden.

    "Arguments from authority are worthless." —Carl Sagan
  5. Re:Medical Device Testing illegally??? by girlinatrainingbra · · Score: -1, Troll

    hey fuckhead, your non-existent userid shows that you're both ANONYMOUS and a COWARD. Get off yer high horse and contribute. All of my risk statements about the fucking stupidity of bulimia and water replacement of the stomach's acid and potassium ARE STILL TRUE and VALID. And speaking of how to use slashdot, you're telling me that YOU, an anonymous coward, actually RTFA? Hahaha!!! You do know that it's classic /. to post without RTFA. So don't go off on me about a fucking UID number. Hell, the number "6" is probably higher than you can count without a cheat-sheet.

  6. Re:why are people driven to eat too much? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Troll

    Yeah, and when Mayor Bloomberg tried to ban the gigantic corn syrup buckets otherwise known as supersized sodas all the fat fucks got outraged, how dare the government interfere with mah eatins!! Well, you can't have it both ways, either the government bans trash foods or people can stop gobbling crap on their own.