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Scientist Seeks 'Adventurous Human Woman' For Neanderthal Baby

Posted by Soulskill on from the try-craigslist dept.

theodp writes "Harvard geneticist George Church recently told Der Spiegel he's close to developing the necessary technology to clone a Neanderthal, at which point all he'd need is an 'adventurous human woman' to be a surrogate mother for the first Neanderthal baby to be born in 30,000 years (article in German, translation to English). Church said, 'We have lots of Neanderthal parts around the lab. We are creating Neanderthal cells. Let's say someone has a healthy, normal Neanderthal baby. Well, then, everyone will want to have a Neanderthal kid. Were they superstrong or supersmart? Who knows? But there's one way to find out.'"

17 of 697 comments (clear)

  1. 30000 years? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    With that sort of gestation time, it's no wonder Neanderthals went extinct.

    1. Re:30000 years? by alphatel · · Score: 2, Funny

      With that sort of gestation time, it's no wonder Neanderthals went extinct.

      It doesn't take that long to pop out a Nean. Apparently most of us have up to 4% of their genes already, so what's the point of the experiment? Why not have one of those Canadians mate with an Ecuadorian. The results would be so craaaaazy.

      --
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    2. Re:30000 years? by Olipro · · Score: 1, Funny

      "amplified the DNA"
      Sounds Legit.

  2. Kardashian? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They should ask one of those Kardashian women. They'll do anything for money as long as they can put their name on it.

    1. Re:Kardashian? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Plus by the looks of em they'd be genetically similar.

    2. Re:Kardashian? by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Me Kardashian boy, you flat!" *Kabooonk!*

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
    3. Re:Kardashian? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      On the plus, in case the babies are bigger than normal, a Kardashian pussy is guaranteed to be like a slip n' slide on the way out instead of a tight, uncomfortable tunnel.

    4. Re:Kardashian? by G3ckoG33k · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes, dark hair and brown eyes are the plesiomorphic traits. However, their breasts probably are way too large to be primitive and their noses are too narrow too to be it too. Still, I found those breasts really interesting and to be sure about their authenticity it would be nice to examine them more in detail. If they turn out to be of the primitive type I can go primitive too; maybe I have more of those plesiomorphic traits than I ever knew.

    5. Re:Kardashian? by Z34107 · · Score: 4, Funny

      So easy, a caveman could do her.

      --
      DATABASE WOW WOW
  3. They are still alive by xs650 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Having spent some time in rural Northern Germany, I believe Neanderthals are still alive.

    1. Re:They are still alive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      There's no need to insult Neaderthals like that.

  4. Shouldn't be too hard ... by lysdexia · · Score: 3, Funny

    I found one to have my potentially ugly baby.

  5. Re:Pretty sure we know by Jane+Q.+Public · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Well I don't know about the former, but given they are all dead I'm pretty sure about the latter."

    Not at all. They were superstrong and supersmart. Unfortunately for them, they were also supergullible.

  6. I'm a Neanderthal by The_Star_Child · · Score: 4, Funny

    So we can just skip the artificial insemination and do it the good ol' fashion way...

  7. Re:Pretty sure we know by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    John Kerry, is that you?

  8. Re:Pretty sure we know by TangoMargarine · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I'll take Fiction Peddled As Fact for $400, Alex."

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  9. Re:Pretty sure we know by bfandreas · · Score: 3, Funny

    If you have one bucket that contains 2 gallons and another bucket that contains 7 gallons, how many buckets do you have?

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