Oculus Rift Loses Doom 3 BFG Edition From Launch Package, But Gains TF2

skade88 writes "Neoseeker and the Verge are reporting that the Oculus Rift launch will no longer have Doom 3 BFG support. But in some good news to offset the bad, Valve will be releasing an Oculus ready version of TF2 when the Dev kits ship. For those backers who are upset about not having Doom 3 BFG edition support on launch of the Oculus Rift, they are offering the following options: '$20 Steam Wallet credit ... $25 Oculus Store credit ... or a full refund for your pledge.'"

Comments

it's called editing

[dutchwhizzman]

Just because you can cram more insider acronyms and names in a sentence it doesn't make it more informative or better readable than just using plain English. Think of your target audience. People that know every name and acronym in this summary will most likely have read this news well before it ever made the Slashdot front page. This means that your target audience will be those that not yet know about the existence of this device.

You could easily write something like this and actually inform people without the majority going TL;DR on you:

"Gaming web sites Neoseeker and the Verge are reporting that the community funded VR helmet Oculus Rift will no longer have support for the game Doom 3 BFG when the first units are shipped. In some good news to offset the bad, Valve will be releasing an Oculus ready version of Team Fortress 2 when the early edition of the Oculus Rift for developers ships. For those backers who are upset about not having Doom 3 BFG edition support on launch of the Oculus Rift, they are offering the following options: '$20 Steam Wallet credit ... $25 Oculus Store credit ... or a a full refund for your pledge.'"

That took all of 5 minutes to edit and every nub and their mum will more or less gather what it's about. That's the difference between an article with hardly any news worthiness and something that might draw the interest of most people reading the summary. As a writer, which one would you prefer?