V&A Scraps Napalm Death Gig For Fear Decibel Levels Will Damage Sculptures

An anonymous reader writes "The Victoria and Albert Museum has cancelled an 'experimental' concert by a death metal rock band amid fears that the high decibel levels could destroy some of its most treasured artefacts, including Ming vases and priceless sculptures. The British band planned to play inside a specially-constructed ceramic sculpture with the idea that the piece would explode under the force of hits such as Order of the Leech and Fear, Emptiness, Despair" I believe this "death metal rock" is known as "grindcore." Maybe they should book Manowar next.

Comments

Maybe the band should have been...

[Anonymous Coward]

Disaster Area - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disaster_Area_%28fictional_band%29#Hotblack_Desiato

Re:Maybe the band should have been...

[F34nor]

Chapter Twenty-one
Down on the dry, red world of Kakrafoon, in the middle of the vast Rudlit Desert, the stage technicians were testing the sound system.

That is to say, the sound system was in the desert, not the stage technicians. They had retreated to the safety of Disaster Area's giant control ship which hung in orbit some four hundred miles above the surface of the planet, and they were testing the sound system from there. Anyone within five miles of the speaker silos wouldn't have survived the tuning up.

If Arthur Dent had been within five miles of the speaker silos then his expiring thought would have been that in both size and shape the sound rig closely resembled Manhattan. Risen out of the silos, the neutron phase speaker stacks towered monstrously against the sky, obscuring the banks of plutonium reactors and seismic amps behind them.

Buried deep in concrete bunkers beneath the city of speakers lay the instruments that the musicians would control from their ship, the massive photon-ajuitar, the bass detonator and the Megabang drum complex.

It was going to be a noisy show.

Aboard the giant control ship, all was activity and bustle. Hotblack Desiato's limoship, a mere tadpole beside it, had arrived and docked, and the lamented gentleman was being transported down the high vaulted corridors to meet the medium who was going to interpret his psychic impulses on to the ajuitar keyboard.

A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board.

Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.

The band's manager was profoundly relieved. It meant that for the seventeenth time on this tour the drums would be played by a robot and that therefore the timing of the cymbalistics would be right.

The sub-ether was buzzing with the communications of the stage technicians testing the speaker channels, and this it was that was being relayed to the interior of the black ship.

Its dazed occupants lay against the back wall of the cabin, and listened to the voices on the monitor speakers.

``OK, channel nine on power,'' said a voice, ``testing channel fifteen ...''

Another thumping crack of noise walloped through the ship.

``Channel fifteen AOK,'' said another voice.

A third voice cut in.

``The black stunt ship is now in position,'' it said, ``it's looking good. Gonna be a great sundive. Stage computer on line?''

A computer voice answered.

``On line,'' it said.

``Take control of the black ship.''

``Black ship locked into trajectory programme, on standby.''

``Testing channel twenty.''

Zaphod leaped across the cabin and switched frequencies on the sub-ether receiver before the next mind-pulverizing noise hit them. He stood there quivering.

``What,'' said Trillian in a small quiet voice, ``does sundive mean?''

``It means,'' said Marvin, ``that the ship os going to dive into the sun. Sun ... Dive. It's very simple to understand. What do you expect if you steal Hotblack Desiato's stunt ship?''

``How do you know ...'' said Zaphod in a voice that would make a Vegan snow lizard feel chilly, ``that this is Hotblack Desiato's stuntship?''

``Simple,'' said Marvin, ``I parked it for him.''

``The why ... didn't ... you ... tell us!''

``You said you wanted excitement and adventure and really wild things.''

``This is awful,'' said Arthur unnecessarily in

What was the name of that band again?

[mcgrew]

The Who? Pink Floyd? Disaster Area????

Re:What was the name of that band again?

[Anonymous Coward]

Loud cunts aren't really a part of the "natural beach."

Re:What was the name of that band again?

[skids]

I remember seeing "The Zombies" perform a reunion show in an old arts theater surrounded by an audience that looked for all getout like a milquetoast PTA meeting.

They decided to perform a few Argent numbers. Until the plaster started falling on them.

With today's sound systems you don't need to be Deathklok to damage some of these old buildings.

Best sound balance

[Conspiracy_Of_Doves]

Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles away from the stage, whilst the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet - or more frequently around a completely different planet.

Real reason for cancellation

[Anonymous Coward]

The planned ceramic sculpture was was only built to 18cm scale instead of the agreed upon 18 meters.

Re:Real reason for cancellation

[tippe]

Proof, if I've ever seen it, that the metric system just doesn't work.

Great User Interface, though!

[billstewart]

Every time you try to operate one of these weird black controls, which are labeled in black on a black background, a small black light lights up black to let you know you've done it.

Grindcore: yes, it exists, and fits Napalm Death

[Anonymous Coward]

Fellas,

Grindcore is a term for the hybrid between death metal and extreme punk hardcore. It grew out of the crust scene (Amebix, Discharge) and the thrash scene (Cryptic Slaughter, DRI, COC, MDC) of the early 1980s.

Coming just a few years later, it used punk style tunes with metal riffs and the "Motorhead-influenced" gravel voice noisy vocals.

All members of Napalm Death had previous experience in crust punk bands, and were tight with other crust punkers like Extreme Noise Terror, whose sound is very similar to Napalm Death's.

In their later years, 1991 and on, Napalm Death took on more influences from death metal bands. However, it is a mistake to consider them death metal, because in spirit and outlook, they're very much punk and choose to keep themselves separate from the metal community.

Read the motherfarkin' heavy metal FAQ:

http://www.deathmetal.org/faq

Re:Grindcore: yes, it exists, and fits Napalm Deat

[cide1]

I always know when I'm listening to the wrong music, cause it has a "scene".....this works with music, cars, and just about anywhere else the word "scene" is used to indicate hip.