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TSA Log Shows Passengers Say the Darndest Things

coondoggie writes "There is no humor in an airport. It's a fact. And while most travelers business or otherwise know that, there are a few out there who haven't gotten the message or perhaps the choose to ignore it. Either way the 'People Say the Darndest Things' or 'What Not to Say at an Airport' section has become one of the more popular destinations on the TSA Blog site." The collected wit and wisdom of airline passengers linked unfortunately does not distinguish between stupidity (claiming that you have a bomb to get through security faster) and seemingly sensible questions that get at the heart of the problems with the current and long-running engagement of Homeland Security Theater. (It's also hard to know whether some passengers might have innocently thought their tone, facial expression, body language or context would have served as notice that they weren't actually threatening murder.)

14 of 427 comments (clear)

  1. Agents do have some latitude by damn_registrars · · Score: 2, Funny

    I was going through security one time and had to be patted down. The guy behind me in line decided to be a joker and made a comment along the lines of "they could at least give you a drink for this!". I was really expecting them to unleash the dogs on him for that, but they let him through with just the usual scan. I'm not sure if he would have been so lucky had we been at a larger airport.

    So I would say the TSA agents do have some latitude on what they do - but I wouldn't recommend testing it if you want to make it on time to your flight.

    --
    Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
    1. Re:Agents do have some latitude by operagost · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm not sure if he would have been so lucky had we been at a larger airport.

      Why? Are we supposed to show obeisance to the stormtroopers of our overlords?

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    2. Re:Agents do have some latitude by preaction · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, though they prefer to be called "Our Benefactors". Now pick up that can.

  2. That article... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...was the bomb.

  3. Re:"Yes, there's a shell bomb in my laptop..." by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sure. They will just call the bomb squad, who will blow up your laptop in a bomb proof container. You will get the bill of the operation, probably some jail time and lose a laptop...

    Damn. And I almost contemplated telling them that I'm bringing Occam's razor on board in my head as well. *That* would have been really messy!

    --
    Ezekiel 23:20
  4. Last time I checked US was not a Police State by WillAffleckUW · · Score: 3, Funny

    We're a Police State Superpower.

    There's a difference.

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    -- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
  5. They x-rayed my burrito by xeno · · Score: 4, Funny

    A few years ago I made the mistake of grabbing something to eat outside the SeaTac security theater zone when I was in a hurry. There was no line (very late at night) but the flight was leaving soon, so I asked "Does my burrito constitute a 'tube of gel' or can I take it through to the boarding area?" Three luggage monkeys wearing aviator glasses at night and a harrumphing silverback later, they came to a conclusion.

    They x-rayed my burrito.

    How is it possible for me to take them seriously? I do risk management for a living, and -- while my jackass question and their retarded response was funny at the time -- there's no way to examine the situation that doesn't indicate heightened overall risk due to bewildered agents looking for irrelevant indicators. Sure, morons joking about a bomb and the forgetful gun-toter need to be weeded out, but neither is a material risk to the lives of anyone on a flight. A good revamp of the TSA would start from undesirable risk outcomes and work its way back to a determination of effective controls... nah. Not gonna happen.

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    I think not...(*poof*)
  6. My friend Jack by mindcandy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Never greet him at the airport.

  7. Re:Cool story bro. by SternisheFan · · Score: 3, Funny
    "I've heard that our in-flight movie is a real bomb!"

    - - -

    "Hey! Let go of me!"

  8. XKCD by Alarash · · Score: 3, Funny

    You know you thought about this. http://xkcd.com/651/

  9. Re:Cool story bro. by sycodon · · Score: 4, Funny

    Has anyone been caught with a bomb period?

    All I hear about is test fake bombs that get through.

    --
    When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
  10. Re:Nothing new, really by alexo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Proverbs 21:19

    Yes, I know that it is completely off-topic, and I don't usually comment on people's signatures, but yours got me intrigued.
    Can you at least tell me who they were playing against?

  11. Re:Cool story bro. by sconeu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or what if I had a DVD of the movie "Ishtar"? Could I legitimately say I had a bomb in my bag?

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  12. heh by Khashishi · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm going to open a bottle of dihydrogen monoxide once the plane gets off the ground.