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Steve Ballmer Replaces Don Mattrick As Xbox One Chief

Posted by timothy on from the so-crazy-it-just-might-work dept.

Edsj writes "While Don Mattrick leaves Microsoft to work at Zynga, Steve Ballmer announces that, from now on, he will be directly in charge of the Xbox One division as quoted: 'Don's directs will report to me and will continue to drive the day-to-day business as a team, particularly focused on shipping Xbox One this holiday.'"

10 of 343 comments (clear)

  1. Well, by cheddarlump · · Score: 5, Funny

    There goes the xbox.

    1. Re:Well, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ballmer post? Guess we'll be needing these:

      Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers.

    2. Re:Well, by plover · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ballmer post? Guess we'll be needing these:

      Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers.

      Don't forget: Chair! Chair!

      --
      John
    3. Re:Well, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      I'm pretty sure he managed that all by himself.

      You've forgotten one key detail. Slashdot has decided that Ballmer is the physical incarnation of all that is evil and malicious in the computing world. He's been blamed for Google reading your email, Apple overcharging customers for weak hardware, and Linux never having good GPU drivers. Your attempt to point out that he is actually a human and not an evil hellspawn with total domination of the tech industries will result in a vengeful tsunami of negative karma in your specific direction.

    4. Re:Well, by NFN_NLN · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's hard to imagine Mattrick was a scapegoat given that he implicated himself by defending so rabidly the DRM policies in interviews to the extent of insulting customers. I very much doubt his orders were "Don, go make a dick of yourself in public".

      I think we can all agree we've coined the new term: "scapedick" :)

      scapegoat - In modern usage a scapegoat is an individual, group, or country singled out for unmerited negative treatment or blame.
      scapedick - An individual, group or country singled out for unmerited negative treatment or blame; then accepting the blame, and overly going along with the plan against them to the point of looking like a dick

  2. Ballmer to the rescue! by meowgoesthecat · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...somewhere, the Sony executives just let out a chuckle.

    --
    Meow
  3. First new XBox One game? Chair Launcher by kannibal_klown · · Score: 3, Funny

    The world is invaded by aliens, the country is in shambles...

    There's only one weapon that can save you now: the might CHAIR

    Throw chairs at your enemies and defend your planet. Customize and purchase new chairs: from the basic metal folding chair to the antique wingback

    Coming to a store near you in 2014

  4. The title is misleading by Skiron · · Score: 4, Funny

    It should be eXboss

  5. I predict by fyngyrz · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...a series of chair throwing games. Rumor has it that Mad Catz is looking into the design of a special controller with new partner IKEA.

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
    1. Re:I predict by mjwx · · Score: 4, Funny

      ...a series of chair throwing games.

      A game of throwns?

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.