Amazon Selects Their Favorite Fake Customer Reviews

An anonymous reader writes "Amazon's just created a new web page where they're officially acknowledging fake reviews posted by their customers — and they've even selected their own favorites . ('I was very disappointed to have my uranium confiscated at the airport. It was a gift for my son for his birthday. Also, I'm in prison now, so that's not good either...') On the front page of Amazon, in big orange letters, Amazon posted 'You guys are really funny.'And then — next to a funny picture of a rubber horse head mask — Amazon's linked to a list of some of the very best satirical reviews their customers have submitted over the years, noting fondly that 'occasionally customer creativity goes off the charts in the best possible way...'"

Comments

one of my favorites

[yorgasor]

I'm reading this while wearing my three wolf moon shirt. It's the best shirt in the world, if only it glowed in the dark.

Re:one of my favorites

[oodaloop]

Apparently one of the reviews is from George Takei. Like, actually from the real George Takei. I guess?

This shirt has changed my life! Before, I couldn't walk through the aisles at Wal-Mart, graze on the buffet at Sizzler, or even take in a round at my local miniature golf course, without people pointing and saying, "Hey, you're that Zulu guy from Star Wars, aren't you?" Even if I wore sunglasses, I'd still get mistaken for Yoko Ono. But with The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee, the SHIRT now draws the eye. One young teen even shyly approached me, and instead of asking for a picture or an autograph, simply smiled conspiratorially and whispered, "Team Jacob, right? Me, too. He's sooooooo dreamy." Yes he is, young lady. Yes. He. Is.

Ahh good ol' Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant

[Saija]

one of my favorites: Epic all-situation survivor's kit

Greatest Review Of All Time

[Anonymous Coward]

Read http://www.amazon.com/review/RXXPVOUH9NLL3

I'll quote the first stanza:

Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

All of the ones for the banana slicer are funny

[oodaloop]

Most of those on that page are incomplete. For instance:

What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!

And my personal favorite review of the banana slicer:

I would rate this product as just okay. It's kind of cheaply made. But it works better than the hammer I've been using to slice my bananas.

Re:I deny everything

[alphatel]

Link to the actual funniest reviews page

Re:I deny everything

[NettiWelho]

Personally I'm of the opinion that this page has the funniest reviews on Amazon.