Slashdot Mirror
Dentist Wants To Clone John Lennon Using DNA Extracted From Lennon's Tooth
dryriver writes "People fantasizing about a Beatles comeback tour might yet see their dream come true, all thanks to Dr. Michael Zuk. This dentist is the proud owner of one of John Lennon's teeth, and hopes to use it to clone the musician. By the looks of it, Dr. Michael Zuk came in possession of the tooth in 2011. At that time, he purchased the molar at an auction organized in the United Kingdom, and paid about $30,000 (€22,424) for it. According to The Inquisitr, the dentist is now working alongside scientists in the United States, who are helping him figure out a way to extract DNA from the tooth without damaging it in the process. This DNA would serve to bring back John Lennon. Apparently, Dr. Michael Zuk hopes that his project will snowball into a scientific and pop-cultural revolution. 'To potentially say I had a small part in bringing back one of Rock's greatest stars would be mind-blowing. I am nervous and excited at the possibility that we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon's DNA, very soon I hope,' the dentist reportedly commented on the importance of his work."
... cloned from a little piece ... oOooo OOOO ooooOOooo...
First they clone Lennon. Then they clone Stallon. Soon enough, they've cloned Hittlor.
Dr. Alan Grant: [finding egg shells] Oh my God. Do you know what this is? This is a Beatle egg. The pop stars are breeding.
Tim: But Grandpa said all the Beatles were men.
Dr. Alan Grant: Lady Gaga DNA.
Lex: What's that?
Dr. Alan Grant: Well, on the tour, the film said they used Lady Gaga's DNA to fill in the gene sequence gaps. They mutated the Beatle genetic code and blended it with that of a crazy bitch who dresses like a homeless person having a fit in a garbage can, but comes up with incredibly catchy melodies. Now, Lady Gaga has been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female depending on which angle she gets photographed from. Malcolm was right. Look...
[we see a trail of baby Beatle footprints]
Dr. Alan Grant: Life found a way.
which is totally what she said
It would be hilarious if John Lennon II grew to become the head of the largest world banking corporation.
"Imagine there's no taxes. It's easy if you try. No crash below us. Above us only sky. Imagine all the people. Living just to pay..." - John Lennon II.
Imagine reincarnation
It's easy if you try
Only one tooth is needed
No one ever needs to die...
Why?
Just look at Slashdot. In 1998 they started a clandestine cloning program on a set of donor DNA tagged "Anonymous Coward" and fifteen years later, we still can't eradicate them.
That'd be the most depressing job ever. A clone of someone. Pretty much a second chance to live, but with a completely clean slate. And he'd be mooching off his previous self's talent, always wondering why he couldn't ascend to the same level of recognition nor fully comprehend this figure that people expected him to be. And every song he'd ever compose would be measured against Imagine, setting him up for failure. In time, he'd grow to hate Lennon. It would start subtly, with him only agreeing to play Revolution #9 at concerts, but pretty soon he'd hatch a plan to clone Yoko Ono MY GOD SOMEONE MAKE THIS MOVIE NOW!
"I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy! Do you realize what this means? All I need is a healthy ovum and I could grow my own Leonard Nimoy!"
Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
Pretty soon, it'll only be "strongly ill-advised" and we can have that come back tour!