Global Warming Spreading Pests Far and Wide According To Study

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Global Warming Spreading Pests Far and Wide According To Study

Posted by samzenpus on Monday September 2, 2013 @04:54AM from the bullet-ants-over-broadway dept.

An anonymous reader writes "New research has concluded that global warming is helping pests and diseases that attack crops to spread around the world. 'Researchers from the universities of Exeter and Oxford have found crop pests are moving at an average of two miles (3km) a year. The team said they were heading towards the north and south poles, and were establishing in areas that were once too cold for them to live in. The research is published in the journal Nature Climate Change.'"

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Re:frist pist by PPH · 2013-09-02 05:01 · Score: 4, Funny

First pest?

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Have gnu, will travel.
Pests by Anonymous Coward · 2013-09-02 05:03 · Score: 2, Funny

Yep, them hippie environmentalist pests are especially bad since global warming started.
Re:Still want it? by roc97007 · 2013-09-02 05:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Personally, I'm switching careers from IT to pest control.

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Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Re:Still want it? by wbr1 · 2013-09-02 05:36 · Score: 5, Funny

Personally, I'm switching careers from IT to pest control.
It is an easy career change. You deal with bugs in both professions.

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Silence is a state of mime.
I see it coming by Anonymous Coward · 2013-09-02 05:44 · Score: 5, Funny

Personally, I'm switching careers from IT to pest control.
Future news:
"The pest control industry is lobbying Congress for an increase in H1-Bs for pest control engineers. Stating ' there isn't enough qualified Americans coming out of school.'"
On Slashdot we'll see: ' I've been interviewing pest control engineers for years now, and I can tell yo that getting qualified people is really difficult. We get people with years of experience who can't describe how the poisons work on the pest nervous system and they can't even give a balanced equation on the compound's creation!"
"Same here! Why one guy couldn't use the sprayer properly."
And there will be ads for:
'Pest Control Engineer. MUST have 5 years of experience with the Pest Sprayer 2020 v 1.43.233, 5 years experience with the Pest sounder 3.42.11, 5 years of programming experience of the pest control API for Windows, BS/MSPE, Able to program the pest control Robot'
And there will be the "We are a Silicon Valley start-up with a new and ground breaking company that is a social media pest control company with iPad apps. There's a huge shortage of qualified people here in SF!" on Slashdot.
1. Re:I see it coming by roc97007 · 2013-09-02 06:09 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  ...and then there will be the offshore pest control operators. "You are having receiving the package? Very good. Now kindly open the package and taking out the metal canister. Very good. Now kindly place the metal canister on the floor of your cubical. Very good. Now if you would please pull out the pin being on the top of the canister. Very good. Oh, you should probably run now. Please close the ticket at your earliest convenience, and being sure to fill out our survey. Hello?
  
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  Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Re:Still want it? by cusco · 2013-09-02 06:50 · Score: 4, Funny

Are you suggesting that the fossil fuel companies are headed by aliens? That would explain an awful lot . . .

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"Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that." - George Carlin