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Elementary School Bans Students From Touching Each Other

Posted by timothy on from the this-one-is-about-your-rights-offline dept.

theshowmecanuck writes "A school in British Columbia (the province that now even California can call flakey) has just banned elementary school students from touching each other during recess. You know, one of those times for play and more importantly learning how to socialize (which itself includes touching). CTV News reports: 'A ban on touching during recess at a B.C. elementary school has shocked parents, who call the new no-touch policy "ridiculous." For most kids, recess is a chance to run around and goof-off with their friends, but a new ban on touching at a school in Aldergrove could put a damper on playtime. School administrators at Coghlan Fundamental Elementary School in B.C. have banned kindergarten students from touching each other during recess.'"

17 of 336 comments (clear)

  1. what about freeze tag? by cortcomp · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do you know who's "it"?

    1. Re:what about freeze tag? by slashmydots · · Score: 4, Funny

      Simple! The much safer alternative is shooting rubber bands off your fingers at other players instead :-D

    2. Re:what about freeze tag? by cortcomp · · Score: 5, Funny

      "You can't touch anyone, but feel free to shoot rubber bands at them AS LONG AS THE RUBBER BAND ISN'T TOUCHING THEM BEFORE LEAVING YOUR FINGER! THEN YOU'RE TOUCHING THEM! Refer to chart in appendix C for minimum rubber band engagement distances." This will also end the age old game of "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"

    3. Re:what about freeze tag? by roc97007 · · Score: 5, Funny

      How do you know who's "it"?

      Obviously, you hit them with a rock.

      --
      Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
    4. Re: what about freeze tag? by jd2112 · · Score: 4, Funny

      As much as we would like to pass off Florida as a Canadian province most non-Americans arent bad enough at geography to fall for it.

      --
      Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
    5. Re: what about freeze tag? by NatasRevol · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, the Canadians would know.

      But the Floridians probably wouldn't.

      --
      There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
    6. Re:what about freeze tag? by g0bshiTe · · Score: 5, Funny

      Usually when you call they answer "IT, this is so and so".

      --
      I am Bennett Haselton! I am Bennett Haselton!
    7. Re: what about freeze tag? by Wookact · · Score: 4, Funny

      The correct spelling is Floridiots.

  2. Good news! by smooth+wombat · · Score: 5, Funny

    have banned kindergarten students from touching each other during recess.

    But touching themselves is still allowed. Huzzah!

    --
    We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
  3. USA vs. Canada by istartedi · · Score: 3, Funny

    Contest to see who can be the most ridiculous. "Tag! You're it."

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  4. Cooties by stewsters · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is the only way to slow the spread of Cooties. Tell your kids the risks. Get tested.

  5. Re:Patty Cake by istartedi · · Score: 3, Funny

    Red Rover, Red Rover, send nobody over.

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  6. Re:Slashdot: by roc97007 · · Score: 3, Funny

    News for nerds. Stuff that matters.

    I think that not touching anyone is very germane to nerds.

    --
    Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
  7. Re:The Type by Capt.DrumkenBum · · Score: 3, Funny

    {I did however leave education because computer pay more so..}

    Let me guess... Former english teacher. :)

    --
    If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
  8. Re:OMFG .... by chill · · Score: 3, Funny

    There is that whole "riding on a single wheel thing" in the comic.

    --
    Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
  9. Obligatory Arrested Development by TheNastyInThePasty · · Score: 4, Funny

    "NO TOUCHING!"

    --
    The best thing about UDP jokes is I don't care if you get them or not
  10. Re:It's a good start but not enough. by tftp · · Score: 4, Funny

    > They could 'trip' and fall into each other (faking...)
    Nah, I tried that at work with a secretary and got into even worse trouble.

    She married you, I gather? :-)