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Chimpanzee "Personhood" Lawsuits Fail In New York Courts
sciencehabit writes "Three lawsuits filed last week that attempted to achieve 'legal personhood' for four chimpanzees living in New York have been struck down. The suits, brought by the animal rights group the Nonhuman Rights Project (NhRP), targeted two chimps on private property and two in a research lab at Stony Brook University in New York. NhRP says it will now appeal each lawsuit to a higher court, and that it will continue its campaign to grant chimpanzees, dolphins, and other cognitively advanced animals legal personhood nationwide."
whats next? collect taxes from them!
I assume the chimps will be immediately subject to prosecution for bestiality, paedophilia (they apparently start giving birth around 13-14 years), and failure to file tax returns.
Or if they're found to be incompetent to function in human society, they could become wards of the state, I suppose. Of course, then they'd need lots of prescription meds to control their behavior. Which, fortunately, have all been animal-tested.
A good case could be made for electing them to Congress.
At least chimps can still comment on /.
Everything and its opposite is true. Get used to it.
A good case could be made for electing them to Congress.
Screaming and throwing feces at each other? It would be an improvement.
We still do.
Stupid mon-
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
but they can still take the bar exam, right?
Yes, and if they pass they can work on pro bonobo cases.