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China Using Troop of Trained Monkeys To Guard Air Base

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-waana-guard-like-you-hoo-hoo dept.

samzenpus (5) writes "No, they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones. Instead the small troop of macaques have been trained to guard air bases from birds who often get caught in aircraft engines. Government sources say the monkeys have proven more effective than netting, scarecrows, firecrackers and soldiers with live ammunition in dealing with birds. From the article: 'The macaques are trained to respond to precise whistle commands from their handlers, according to the Chinese military, leaping into action, clambering up trees to destroy nests and scare away birds, according to an account on China's Air Force News Web site on Sunday. The particular air force base employing the monkeys was left unidentified, described simply as being in the Beijing military zone. Base commanders in the account said the monkeys have destroyed more than 180 nests, at a pace of six to eight nests per monkey per day.'"

13 of 119 comments (clear)

  1. please, don't call them monkeys by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 4, Funny

    they are 'evolutionarily challenged', that's all.

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    "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
    1. Re:please, don't call them monkeys by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      In the USA we make 'em president. Two in a row and counting.

  2. but but... by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this mean the Typing Shakespeare project is on hold?

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    Table-ized A.I.
  3. Most Disappointing Sentence in /. History by wisnoskij · · Score: 4, Funny

    "they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones"

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    Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
  4. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by gandhi_2 · · Score: 5, Funny

    You haven't read The Mythical Monkey Month have you?

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    THL phish sticks
  5. The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? by raymorris · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.

    1. Re:The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? by cffrost · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.

      Nah — these are trained monkeys.

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      Thank you, Edward Snowden.

      "Arguments from authority are worthless." —Carl Sagan
  6. can't put my finger on it by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

    That half-buried Statue of Liberty in the corner back-lot is a bit unsettling for some reason.

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    Table-ized A.I.
  7. Re:Someone has to be first to say... by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

    personally, I'm tired of Congress.

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    Table-ized A.I.
  8. Re:Birdpocalypse by NoMaster · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder if they have opportunities to teach these behaviors to wild monkeys who will someday destroy all the bird nests in China.

    "No soup for you!"

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    What part of "a well regulated militia" do you not understand?
  9. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by Jmc23 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ah, you didn't hear about the union they started on the second day then? Extra smoke breaks and safety features like having two spotters for each monkey that climbs a tree really cuts into productivity.

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  10. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 3, Funny

    Did you really have to pull International Bonobos and Macaques into this?

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    Ezekiel 23:20
  11. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by upuv · · Score: 4, Funny

    You forgot that from the total number of monkeys you must subtract those monkeys involved in:
    HR
    Project Management
    Engineering
    Catering
    Procurement

    Once we do this it's clear that the actual number of Monkey's involved far exceeds those quoted. The Chinese are clearly fudging the numbers to make the project appear to be viable.