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China Using Troop of Trained Monkeys To Guard Air Base

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-waana-guard-like-you-hoo-hoo dept.

samzenpus (5) writes "No, they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones. Instead the small troop of macaques have been trained to guard air bases from birds who often get caught in aircraft engines. Government sources say the monkeys have proven more effective than netting, scarecrows, firecrackers and soldiers with live ammunition in dealing with birds. From the article: 'The macaques are trained to respond to precise whistle commands from their handlers, according to the Chinese military, leaping into action, clambering up trees to destroy nests and scare away birds, according to an account on China's Air Force News Web site on Sunday. The particular air force base employing the monkeys was left unidentified, described simply as being in the Beijing military zone. Base commanders in the account said the monkeys have destroyed more than 180 nests, at a pace of six to eight nests per monkey per day.'"

17 of 119 comments (clear)

  1. please, don't call them monkeys by TheGratefulNet · · Score: 4, Funny

    they are 'evolutionarily challenged', that's all.

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    "It is now safe to switch off your computer."
  2. Someone has to be first to say... by Kittenman · · Score: 3, Informative

    I, for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.

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    "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes" - Winston Churchill
    1. Re:Someone has to be first to say... by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

      personally, I'm tired of Congress.

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      Table-ized A.I.
  3. but but... by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this mean the Typing Shakespeare project is on hold?

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    Table-ized A.I.
  4. Birdpocalypse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I wonder if they have opportunities to teach these behaviors to wild monkeys who will someday destroy all the bird nests in China.

    1. Re:Birdpocalypse by NoMaster · · Score: 4, Funny

      I wonder if they have opportunities to teach these behaviors to wild monkeys who will someday destroy all the bird nests in China.

      "No soup for you!"

      --
      What part of "a well regulated militia" do you not understand?
  5. Most Disappointing Sentence in /. History by wisnoskij · · Score: 4, Funny

    "they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones"

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    Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
  6. 180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by f_head · · Score: 3, Insightful

    If they have one monkey doing this at 6 nests/monkey/day, they have been doing this for 30 days. With 10 monkeys they've been doing this for 3 days. The numbers don't add up...

    1. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by gandhi_2 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You haven't read The Mythical Monkey Month have you?

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      THL phish sticks
    2. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by Jmc23 · · Score: 4, Funny

      ah, you didn't hear about the union they started on the second day then? Extra smoke breaks and safety features like having two spotters for each monkey that climbs a tree really cuts into productivity.

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      Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
    3. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 3, Funny

      Did you really have to pull International Bonobos and Macaques into this?

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      Ezekiel 23:20
    4. Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? by upuv · · Score: 4, Funny

      You forgot that from the total number of monkeys you must subtract those monkeys involved in:
      HR
      Project Management
      Engineering
      Catering
      Procurement

      Once we do this it's clear that the actual number of Monkey's involved far exceeds those quoted. The Chinese are clearly fudging the numbers to make the project appear to be viable.

  7. The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? by raymorris · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.

    1. Re:The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? by cffrost · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.

      Nah — these are trained monkeys.

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      Thank you, Edward Snowden.

      "Arguments from authority are worthless." —Carl Sagan
  8. can't put my finger on it by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Funny

    That half-buried Statue of Liberty in the corner back-lot is a bit unsettling for some reason.

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    Table-ized A.I.
  9. Pfft by Greyfox · · Score: 3

    I could point you at several companies that are using them for IT and end user support. They schedule a deskside visit to fix your hardware and you end up covered in monkey shit and banana peels.

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    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  10. Monkeys = good guards by meburke · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Back in 1996 there was a warehouse in Cam Ranh Bay that had large amounts of goods continually disappearing at night. AP patrols with dogs didn't stop the theft, so the K9 guys attack-trained a half dozen monkeys (about 30 lbs each). They would keep the monkeys in a CONEX container and back it up to the entry door in the eveneing, and when they opened the CONEX the monkeys would race into the warehouse. The next morning they would back the empty CONEX to the door and bang on the back wall; the monkeys would then race into the CONEX to get food. From that point on, nothing disappeared from the warehouse at night.

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    "The mind works quicker than you think!"