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Parenting Rewires the Male Brain

sciencehabit writes: "Cultures around the world have long assumed that women are hardwired to be mothers. But a new study (abstract) suggests that caring for children awakens a parenting network in the brain—even turning on some of the same circuits in men as it does in women. The research implies that the neural underpinnings of the so-called maternal instinct aren't unique to women, or activated solely by hormones, but can be developed by anyone who chooses to be a parent."

27 of 291 comments (clear)

  1. I believe it because.. by Dj+Stingray · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I have been discriminated against a few times because I choose to be childless.

    1. Re:I believe it because.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      As a parent, I discriminate against the childless as I'm so jealous.

      Oh, to not have three screaming children.

    2. Re:I believe it because.. by hsmith · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Insane. We flew within 2 months of our daughter being born and will be taking her to Japan next year.

      It is an excuse for the lazy.

    3. Re:I believe it because.. by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Insightful

      My girlfriend and I have chosen never to have children because it would interfere with our ability to travel.

      Traveling with kids isn't that hard. You can get a backpack with a kid seat that will work till they are about five. When they are eight, they can walk fast enough to keep up. So that is only a three year window when they are too heavy to carry and too slow to walk. My daughter was born in California. My son was born in Shanghai. They have both been to five continents, and both speak three languages (English, Mandarin, and Spanish). When they grow up, they will have an international perspective, and can be a bridge between cultures. Kids will only hold you back if you use them as an excuse not to go.

    4. Re:I believe it because.. by davester666 · · Score: 5, Funny

      So, you think it will take dumping her on an island thousands of miles away for her to not be able to find her way back home?

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    5. Re: I believe it because.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Just think - if you parents had thought this way, then we'd have one less asshole in the world!

    6. Re: I believe it because.. by Mr.No · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That's just fine - you carry on believing that. The rest of us will keep on breeding. As you are removing yourself from the gene pool, your beliefs will die out with you.

      Strange, I see idiots breeding like rabbits and expecting government/god to take care of the children as if they had a mission to carry on the human race while intelligent people choose to not breed because they have something between their two ears. Having children because we need them to pay for your pension is nothing short of Ponzi scheme, having above 25% unemployment among the young as in Spain, Italy just screws up these "we need more children to work and pay for retirement pensions".

    7. Re:I believe it because.. by erroneus · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Your children are a reflection of yourself. If they are difficult, it's because you are difficult. It absolutely amazes me that people never quite get this. If you want to have good children, be a better person. Seriously.

    8. Re:I believe it because.. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Insane. We flew within 2 months of our daughter being born and will be taking her to Japan next year. It is an excuse for the lazy.

      What model of aircraft is now full of people who loath you?

    9. Re: I believe it because.. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Just remember time discounting and the generally shoddy statistical intuitions of humans: While I don't doubt that your assessment is correct (I don't have the data, you do, and in any case I'm willing to agree for sake of argument), you have the sex first, sometimes even without consequence(I forget the exact stats; but some combination of failure to fertilize and early-stage spontaneous abortion keep even unprotected sex during fertile periods from leading to recognizable pregnancy 100% of the time, and the odds fall further in lower fertility periods) and then have to deal with kiddo later.

      Given that humans tend to markedly discount future costs, and do basically every horrible thing imaginable to statistical judgements, it may well be simultaneously true that your assessment of overall cost over time is correct and laziness(in combination with poor assessment of risk-discounted future costs, and/or short term lapses in judgement caused by the relative attractiveness of futzing with a condom or hot animalistic fucking) leads people to keep having kids where a less-lazy approach would more rigorously apply preventative measures.

    10. Re: I believe it because.. by ultranova · · Score: 3, Insightful

      And now we're stuck with an asshole too many, that thinks that people aren't entitled to their own opinion, no matter how subversive it may be.

      Everyone is entitled to their opinion. That doesn't mean you can't be judged by those opinions. Also, "The majority of parents who have children do so because" is not an opinion but a claim, an assertion about the factual state of affairs, for which the grandparent presented no evidence. And no, everyone is not entitled to their own facts.

      --

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    11. Re:I believe it because.. by meta-monkey · · Score: 3, Informative

      I took my 8 month old on a plane from Atlanta to Seattle and back. Kid was fine...never cried once or disturbed anybody. Just in case, though, my wife made little "I'm sorry" kits that included ear plugs and some candy to hand out to people around us if he was disruptive.

      There was another lady on the plane who did have a kid who wouldn't stop screaming. The other people around us mainly felt bad for her and she was mortified, but there was just nothing she could do. Other people tried helping her and just nothing worked. Thems the breaks.

      --
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    12. Re: I believe it because.. by greendot · · Score: 3, Funny

      Good lord. I need more coffee to read this. There should be a limit on both the number of parenthesis allowed and the length of parenthetical tangents within.

  2. Finally found! by Semyazas · · Score: 4, Funny

    This must be the process that makes it possible to see humor in dadjokes. Warrants funding research in that field.

  3. False assumptions by BitZtream · · Score: 5, Insightful

    One assumption of this study is that because homosexual men have a specific reaction in their brains, that all men have it. It ignores the possibility that homosexual men's brains are different from the start. It doesn't consider/ignores the fact that homosexual men are wired differently from the start which means they may have the same ability as women from the start as well. The wiring that makes a man homosexual may be the same wiring that makes them more nurturing/worrying/ect like mothers.

    There isn't enough evidence to draw the conclusions they are drawing. This is a simple matter of someone deciding correlation is causation. It may be true, it may not, but this study is pretty inconclusive and jumps to conclusions that it shouldn't

    I see nothing referencing heterosexual single fathers and how they compare/contrast to all this, which would be much more telling as far as the conclusions they've drawn.

    --
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  4. Activity Rewires the Human Brain by fractoid · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Our brains learn things by "rewiring" themselves. Why should we be surprised that spending a large amount of time causes a detectable difference in the action of the brain? Implying that men don't have the neural circuitry required for parenting is as retarded as implying that women don't have the neural circuitry required for mathematics.

    --
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    1. Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain by Belial6 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Most people won't get it because we currently live in a time when it is heresy to say that men are better than women at anything, while it is also heresy to imply that women are not better than men at most things. We live in a misandrist society.

    2. Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain by cerberusss · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Implying that men don't have the neural circuitry required for parenting is as retarded as implying that women don't have the neural circuitry required for mathematics.

      Heh that brings back memories, and not the good ones. I can't count the times the wife said something on the lines of: "I am the mother, so obviously I know best." The first half year after our baby girl was born, I had to really fight for my half of fatherhood.

      Society nowadays expect you to do your half of the parenting, but when that time comes, your wife's instincts might take over and decide it would be much better if you just followed her orders.

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    3. Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain by Jason+Levine · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Sadly, our society sees women as "natural parents" and men as "idiots who would feed the baby pizza and beer if given the chance." While out their kids, some dads are told how nice it is that they are "babysitting" them. It amazes some people that men can actually be good dads and are capable of actually helping in the house. (For example, I'm the chef of our family. I cook all of the dinners.) Part of the blame for this are the endless TV shows portraying the idiot bumbling dad who would go to ruin if it weren't for his loving, extremely-patient wife. (Have a TV show with an idiot bumbling wife and a patient dad and watch the complaints fly.)

      Even worse is the view that all men are psycho kid-stalkers out to do harm to any child they can. If my wife and I saw a child crying on the sidewalk by himself or herself, I wouldn't walk up to them. I'd want to. I'd want to help, but I'd know better. I'd be seen as "creepy man preying on an innocent kid." My wife, on the other hand, would be able to do that because she's a woman. She'd be seen as "loving woman who wants to help a child."

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  5. I don't doubt it. by Sasayaki · · Score: 4, Insightful

    A few years ago, my ex had a miscarriage at three months. By that point I was already accepting that there was going to be a kid and planning accordingly (adding another room to the house, telling friends and co-workers, etc). We dated for five years and the stress that caused ended an already fragile relationship.

    Since then, I've noticed a distinct change in my personality. It's subtle and hard to quantify in absolute terms, but it's definitely there and I'm not the only one who noticed. I'm a lot less interested in women than I was before. I'm a lot more interested in stability, especially financial, and I'm finding myself doting on my cat a lot more (she's the bestest). While I'm still in many ways "an overgrown college kid" I've noticed that I'm also assuming a lot more responsibilities with my life, especially cleaning, cooking, and being a lot more timely and responsible* in my behaviour.

    It's hard to assign causation to something like this -- I'm nearly 30 now. Did I just get older and is that adequate enough to explain it? Was it because I was exposed to a lot of new things, such as The Atheist Experience which I started watching just after the breakup? Or maybe it was just a change in the social and political climate locally, here in Australia? Or possibly the change in friend circles (I moved across the country afterward) that did it? I lost a lot of weight, maybe that's it too? Or the change in career (IT to full time writer)?

    It's hard to pin down, but something changed and although a lot of factors I can think of were environmental I'd find it quite plausible that there is a distinct bio-chemical trigger at play here too. Probably 75% environmental, 25% chemical?

    The whole thing is very interesting at any rate.

    *I bought a Pikachu onesie a week ago so maybe not too responsible.

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    1. Re:I don't doubt it. by jelizondo · · Score: 3

      You had me until the cat part.

      Everyone knows that a good parent would choose a dog!

      Kidding aside, it does change you. I was fooled into being in the OR for the birth of my third offspring (a girl) and that changed me in ways I can't begin to describe: from a typical antisocial nerd, interested only in the latest techno-toy into a real person.

      She'll be 21 next week and has been living with me for the last 12 years, after her mom and I divorced, and still think of her as my greatest achievement.

      She is smart and iron-willed, so I have not really enjoyed being a single parent dealing with a difficult child, but at this time, I would not change one bit of the story.

      YMMV and all that, but being a parent really makes a wonderful difference in your life.

      --
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    2. Re:I don't doubt it. by TheLink · · Score: 3, Informative

      http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09...

      Here, we use a large representative study in the Philippines (n = 624) to show that among single nonfathers at baseline (2005) (21.5 ± 0.3 y), men with high waking T were more likely to become partnered fathers by the time of follow-up 4.5 y later (P < 0.05). Men who became partnered fathers then experienced large declines in waking (median: â'26%) and evening (median: â'34%) T, which were significantly greater than declines in single nonfathers (P < 0.001). Consistent with the hypothesis that child interaction suppresses T, fathers reporting 3 h or more of daily childcare had lower T at follow-up compared with fathers not involved in care (P < 0.05).

      http://www.pnas.org/content/10...

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  6. Re:Explains Comedians. by narcc · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's just because he couldn't get less funny.

  7. Re:Explains Comedians. by davester666 · · Score: 3

    He CAN'T get less funny.

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  8. Please tell this to the family courts by Alain+Williams · · Score: 4, Insightful

    who persistently find in favour of the woman, ignoring the benefits that a father can bring to children: if mother does not want her ex-partner around the courts do little to help dad remain in the kids lives. She can break court orders with little penalty while dad is faced with huge legal bills and delays. The courts pretend to act in the best interests of the children - but really they are prejudiced in favour of mothers.

  9. Re:'stay-at-home-dad' schlock by epyT-R · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Perhaps, but these days, it's hard to separate the science from the politics. I'm leery of 'studies' like this as they're usually put out by some think tank or other that's looking to provide 'scientific' justification for a particular ideology.

    I know three stay at home dads who thought it would be wonderful. They are now shells of their former selves as their wives treat them as thankless slaves. Also, thanks to lizard-brain dynamics, the women don't find their husbands attractive anymore. Nothing dries a vagina faster than a guy who's providing less than she is while doing 'womanly' things. It doesn't matter how logical the trade offs and value propositions are, that she's making the 200k while he's changing diapers and keeping house. This is a case of animal imperatives conflicting with social conditioning. One described it as being the one sitting in the 'guy chair' at a women's clothing outlet, holding her pocketbook, except it's 10x worse and it's 24/7. No sense of self respect for him, and she has no respect for him. Feminists say that male distaste of traditionally feminine tasks is proof of provincial attitudes, but really all they're doing is shaming men for being men. A lot of guys fall for this now as that's how the current crop of 30something fathers was brought up. I realize this is just anecdotal and that there are cases that work out, but it does mirror the trends, tropes, and stereotypes, seen in the media. This is clearly the direction society is headed in and it's really quite sad.

  10. Other factors can ease parenting "instinct" in men by imevil · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I had the luck of finding a husband who cared about me keeping my job. That meant sharing of the parental duties, except the obvious ones like breastfeeding. I noticed that not only his parental instinct was at least as developed as mine -- and getting better with each subsequent child, but also that he is more comfortable than me in this parenthood thing. The reasons being:

    1 - he's more sure of himself than I am, because society taught him to.
    2 - he gets less hen-pecking and judging that I do. With our first-born, family would let me know that I "was doing wrong", and I'd believe it (see number one). But a caring father is like a super-hero here and does not get that much crap. And also can find better company (but that's just here where I live I guess as I heard horrible things from other dads). Also random people compliment him for being so involved with our kids.
    3 - he can lift 2 kids at the same time