Slashdot Mirror
US Secret Service Wants To Identify Snark
beschra (1424727) writes "From the article: 'The U.S. Secret Service is seeking software that can identify top influencers and trending sets of social media data, allowing the agency to monitor these streams in real-time — and sift through the sarcasm. "We are not currently aware of any automated technology that could do that (detect sarcasm). No one is considered a leader in that,'" Jamie Martin, a data acquisition engineer at Sioux Falls, SD based Bright Planet, told CBS News.'
Why not just force Twitter to change TOS to require sarcasm tag?"
Why not just force Twitter to change TOS to require sarcasm tag?"
that's gonna work
Search the text for /sarcasm or #sarcasm.
Done. Where's my paycheque?
This will TOTALLY work. Detecting sarcasm will be DEFINITELY not be hard to do in software, seeing as how it's SO EASY for humans to do already.
that's a real useful invention.
Ha ha CBG, Frink gets the last laugh!
With all the sarcasm, don't you all realize you're creating the perfect dataset for them to train their algorithms on?
"[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz
Sorry, you want the dismissive banter department. This is sarcasm.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
The automated detection of sarcasm and derision will be one of the fastest growing segments in the new economy.
Already at least 3 startups have begun with this included in their mission statement, along with a stated goal of relieving venture capitalists from the burden of their investment money.
It is of vital national importance that we identify who is merely being a dismissive arrogant douchebag, and who is at risk of inadvertently hurting someone else's feelings so we send them for re-education and thought alignment. It will also help to identify people who haven't yet fully swallowed the kool-aid and don't believe that the government is, in fact, here to help us, uphold the Constitution, and defend our rights.
The US Secret Service is going to aggressively fund a second mandate to decode the mysteries of eye rolling, sneering, and derisive snorts.
This should further embolden the usage of widespread warrantless collection of our personal information with the knowledge that law enforcement agencies will be able to accurately detect sarcasm and redirect scarce resources to fondling young children and old people in airport security lines.
A spokesperson for the Treasury Department indicated that popular internet forum Slashdot, as well as Digg and 4Chan will be used as exemplars for this technology, as these have been identified as the single largest sources of snark on the interwebs since Al Gore invented it.
It has been further reported that Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan has said he welcomes this new initiative in the spirit of cooperation between the two countries, and that Kim Jon Un is hoping this will lead to a normalization of relations as it will allow the US to realize that North Korea was only kidding.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. /sarcasm
Conspiracy insight level 2: The government already has a sentient AI, but it's an Aspie like Data on Star Trek, so they're crowd-sourcing its emotional development. *dun-dun-DUN*
your thin skin doesn't make me a troll
so they're crowd-sourcing its emotional development. *dun-dun-DUN*
...and they're seeding it with all the data from Twitter, Reddit, Slashdot, and 4chan. So this is how the world ends