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The World's Best Living Programmers

Posted by timothy on from the yeah-but-do-you-have-his-rookie-card? dept.

itwbennett (1594911) writes "How do you measure success? If it's by Stack Overflow reputation, Google engineer Jon Skeet is the world's best programmer. If it's winning programming competitions, Gennady Korotkevich or Petr Mitrechev might be your pick. But what about Linus Torvalds? Or Richard Stallman? Or Donald Knuth? ITworld's Phil Johnson has rounded up a list of what just might be the world's top 14 programmers alive today."

1 of 285 comments (clear)

  1. How about the world's best turds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    11/12/2013: Tried 45 minutes grunting for something the size and shape of a tennis ball. Did not try it to see if it bounced. Blood in the TP. Roughly 2.6â diameter.

    11/20/2013: Rolling dump from last nightâ(TM)s hot dogs and creamed corn. Smelled like anchovies for some reason. Havenâ(TM)t had anchovies in two weeks. WTF? 11â Ã-- 2.25â

    11/30/2013: One day after Thanksgiving dinner. I was stuffed like a turkey. Unchewed lima beans, corn kernels present. 15â Ã-- 2.1â

    12/02/2013: Likely from all the popcorn and hummus yesterday. Felt like I was passing mashed potatoes mixed with crushed eggshells. I should chew more. Light brown, smelled like Elmerâ(TM)s Glue with a hint of garlic. 12â Ã-- 2â

    12/12/2013: Loved the zhÅxiÄgÄo I ordered the other day. Pork blood turns purple in your poop. Smelled like a womenâ(TM)s restroom. 9â Ã-- 1.75â

    12/17/2013: A semi-solid mess from a large dinner of clams and pasta in olive oil sauce. Smelled like old seafood in a hot dumpster. Black and brown. 8â x 1.5â

    12/24/2013: X marks the spot! Crapped identical twin turds in anticipation of Christmas. Long, light brown, smelled like regular old poop. Probably from the entire loaf of French bread I had the other day. 10â Ã-- 2â

    12/26/2013: Oh my god. This one smelled, felt, and looked like a greased pig. Doubtless from my Christmas ham. Huge floater, thought it might jump out. 13â Ã-- 2.4â

    01/01/2013: Reeks like rotten cabbage from last nightâ(TM)s sauerkraut. The thing was literally the same size and shape as a Colt M1991A Officer's Model. Wouldnâ(TM)t go down, was in so much pain I threw the fucker out the window.