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Google Takes the Fight With Oracle To the Supreme Court
whoever57 writes Google has asked the Supreme Court to review the issue of whether APIs can be copyrighted. Google beat Oracle in the trial court, where a judge with a software background ruled that APIs could not be copyrighted. but the Appeals court sided with Oracle, ruling that APIs can be copyrighted. Now Google is asking the Supreme Court to overturn that decision.
(Also of interest.)
Sonia Sotomayor: isnt...didnt steve jobs invent API's when he did the iPod?
Stephen G. Breyer: im pretty sure its bread...ive had an API before and it gave me horrible gas.
Samuel A. Alito: no guys seriously its Oracle this is about religion. the API is like a god, but also a man i think.
Elena Kagan: I believe API is the knob on the old chairs that used to control that horrible frontward tilt feature we all hated. Oracle owns that?
Clarence Thomas:: zzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzz
Antonin Scalia: It should be outlawed. these damn hooligans play their API at four in the morning and I hate rap bands.
Chief Justice John G. Roberts: I dont know about you guys but I rather liked the front tilty chairs...just sayin'
Anthony Kennedy: does everyone get an API or just some people. does this disenfranchise minorities or is there an API for everyone?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg: Youre all wrong. I just had the API serviced in my mercedes benz last month. im pretty sure its the part that works with the seat warmer or cooler or something.
Good people go to bed earlier.
Mod parent up!
Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
It's hard to decide how the SCUSA would rule in this case because it is two big corporations fighting. If it were a corporation versus a human being then it would be an easy decision for the SCUSA, but I don't think five of those nine Justices have any compass for how to rule in cases between two corporations.
It'll be really confusing for them. Imagine the conversation:
Roberts: "Hey, Thomas, how are you going to vote?" ... ... ... ...
Thomas: "I don't know, Johnny. I read the briefs and shat my pants when I saw that both litigants were corporations."
Scalia: "Me too. I even asked both sides if maybe they were not a corporation, to simplify things, but it seems like they really are both corporations."
Roberts: "Yeah I'm flummoxed. There's just no way to decide."
Alito: "Maybe one of them is a small corporation? Then we could just round them down to 'human' and rule against them."
Roberts: "No such luck. These are both huge corporations."
Kennedy: "Hey, guys, I'm thinking maybe we could decide the case based on legal principles."
Roberts:
Scalia:
Alito: "I don't get it. Legal principles? You mean like, we should check the documents of incorporation to see whether they are real corporations?"
Kennedy: "No, I mean like, we should decide the case based on what the law says, and based on previous legal decisions in American courts."
Roberts:
Scalia:
Alito: "I still don't get it. What does the law have to do with it?"
Thomas: "Yeah, seriously Kennedy, we let you screw up the DOMA decision and we're not going to let you do it again. Is this 'API' thing religious? Maybe we could rule in favor of religion, if the other corporation is atheist."
Alito: "No, apparently it's some kind of computery thing. I don't really know, I was doing a Sudoku during arguments."
Roberts: "Look, maybe we should just defer to the appellate court."
Scalia: "But the appellate court ruled against a corporation!"
Roberts: "Yeah but they also ruled for a corporation."
Roberts, Thomas, Scalia, Alito: heads physically explode.
Kennedy: "Ah, sheesh, they got blood on my robe."
Ginsberg: "Anthony, come over here, maybe you can help Sonya and I write a decision."
Kennedy: "I guess so, but your lap isn't as comfortable as Scalia's. Will you scratch me behind my ear?"
Ginsberg: "I'll scratch you behind your ear but you have to promise to stop mentioning legal principles in front of the conservatives."