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First Star War Episode 7 Trailer Released
Midnight Thunder writes: The first trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens has been released. (YouTube link.) This is the first real opportunity to get a feeling for whether childhood dreams will be crushed or Disney, with the help of JJ Abrams, will be able to breath new life into the story without making it feel like a merchandising excuse.
will be able to breath new life
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Well, Star Wars has been known to have serious consequences for youth with side effects such as lifelong virginity.
It would be the greatest act of trolling in history if he popped on screen early into the movie yelling "Surprise! Yousa think meesa not in this movie! Yousa wrong! Hahahahaha!" and then there was a long Bollywood-style dance scene with dozens of Jar Jars singing and dancing on screen XD
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
I still haven't received my "Spaceballs: The Flamethrower".
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Hmmm ... but ouchebag just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
50 seconds worth of film in the trailer and it includes a bloody lens flare.
4) That sword *almost* makes sense. I mean what else are you going to make an anti-lightsaber hilt guard out of except more lightsaber? Only problem is that instead of catching your opponent's blade like a traditional guard, this one just guides it directly towards your emmitter (and hands), which it will then presumably slice through without problems.
Oh, wait, Wookipedia says they do have a lightsaber-shorting material in the universe, so wrap the mechanical bits in that and it would be a formidable weapon for lightsaber dueling, though a simple cortosis guard would make even more sense. But hey, he's presumably a Sith, and when have they ever chosen practicality over looking badass?
--- Most topics have many sides worth arguing, allow me to take one opposite you.
I read your entire post in Comic Book Guy's voice.
Koans and fables for the software engineer
I guess my reaction to the trailer is: "I've got a bad feeling about this."
Indeed. A new JJ Abrams trailer often seems to be followed by millions of voices crying out in terror. I guess time will tell whether they will suddenly be silenced on release day.
If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
Light saber technology is not the best example, ...
Obi Wan Gilette: "Heck, we'll make one with 5 blades!"
(or was it Wilkinson?)
There are fewer illiterates than people who can't read.
...until bastards go to four blades.
Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip.
Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do.
After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe.
Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow?
Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game.
Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Sith is the best a man can get.
What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking saber that ever existed. Comprende?
We didn't claw our way out of a sarlacc pit to the top of the saber game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard.
We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.
Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it.
They don't tell me what to inventâ"I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there.
I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle.
I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!
You're taking the "light" part of "light saber" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it.
Let's roll. This is our chance to make saber history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen.
If you aren't on board, then fuck you. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father.
Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade saber becomes the fencing tool for the Gal-a- "this is how we cut the hands off now"-xay.
People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it.
Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?"
Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Coruscant, working on fucking electrics. Rotary blades, my white ass!
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Empire's wake and make blasters. Ha!
Not on your fucking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like the Empire is the day I leave the saber game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!
The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle.
It's as easy as, "Hey, cutting with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet."
Or "You'll be so smooth, you'll make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."
Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a goddamn Medal of Bravery under it."
I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?!
Grow the fuck up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top.
Which Sith is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius.
Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler.
Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right.
Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard meâ"the second strip lathers.
It's a whole new way to think about swords. Don't question it. Don't say a word.
Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edgeâ"the saber's edgeâ"and I feel like dancing.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
- Unintentionally comical Sudden Black Man
- Comical Soccer Ball Bot
- Unintentionally comical Desert Box Cycle
- Hilarious "trying to hard to be edgy" Cross Saber
- Shitty voice over
+ X-Wings
+ Millenium Falcon
On a scale of Midi-chlorians to Yoda, this trailer is a Jar Jar Binks.