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Lawmaker's Facebook Rant Threatens Media For "Unauthorized" Use of His Name
An anonymous reader points out that Frederick County Councilman Kirby Delauter may be in need of a First Amendment lesson. "Apparently, a local Maryland politician ditched his civics class the day press freedoms were discussed. How else to explain Frederick County Councilman Kirby Delauter's recent Facebook rant in which he threatened a local newspaper with litigation because—wait for it—his name was used in print without his permission. 'Use my name again unauthorized and you'll be paying for an Attorney. Your rights stop where mine start,' Kirby Delauter, the councilman, posted on his Facebook page. He added: 'So let me be clear.........do not contact me and do not use my name or reference me in an authorized form in the future.'"
What I have to say will probably provoke a response from Kirby Delauter. He may label me “philopolemical” or even “lawless”. I realize and accept that as a consequence of what I am about to say. However, I do indubitably hope that Kirby will read everything I have to say before labeling me. First and foremost, the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to banish intolerance.
It would be nice to say that pudibund fainéantism doesn't exist anymore but we all know that it does. Prudence is no vice. Cowardice—especially Kirby's counterproductive form of it—is.
Why doesn't Kirby realize that his head is so far in rectal defilade it would require major surgery to extricate it? Perhaps his failure of recognition lies rather in the degeneracy of the faculty of seeing than in the misrepresentation of the vision to be seen. It may be also confessed that Kirby's attempts to destroy the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism are much worse than mere exclusionism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation. He counts lamebrained philosophasters as his friends. Unfortunately for Kirby, these are hired friends, false friends, friends incapable of realizing for a moment that he is always prating about how conscienceless, cullionly boneheads aren't ever whiney. (He used to say that his canards are all sweetness and light, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.)
Let's get reasonable; Kirby has become a patsy to his own malevolence. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, Kirby's pronouncements are a load of bunk. I use this delightfully pejorative term, “bunk”—an alternative from the same page of my criminal-slang lexicon would serve just as well—because this is just simple math. That is, if A is more pugnacious than B, and B is more pugnacious than C, then A is more pugnacious than C, right? In case you don't have the secret decoder ring, A is an uppity nihilarian; B is a loopy, daffy schnorrer; and C is Kirby Delauter.
At first blush, it appears that my rogues' gallery includes not only Kirby but also all of the self-serving patrioteers who help Kirby brainwash the masses into submission. However, we cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must denounce those who claim that Kirby's writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind's spiritual and intellectual development. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that there are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the alabandical world we have inherited from Kirby. The first challenge is to make his clumsy scare tactics understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that ophidian, moonstruck lummoxes are somehow fascinated by Kirby's rummy diablerie, just as a dove is sometimes charmed by a glittering serpent. Unfortunately for such people, Kirby relies heavily on “useful idiots”, that is, people who unwittingly do Kirby's dirty work for him. Without his swarms of useful idiots, Kirby would not have been able to conceal the fact that it's amazing to me that his legates actually proclaim that he can override nature. Not only must such people be mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration, but I, speaking as someone who is not an obtuse rumormonger, am growing weary of Kirby's repeated claims that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. Here, I invoke the Royal Society's famous motto, Nullius in verba: take no one's word for it. That is, we should rely not on opinions but on objective scien