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A Critical Look At CSI: Cyber
Trailrunner7 writes with the introduction to a Threatpost article (best read without coffee near your keyboard) about the new CSI: Cyber: The show centers on the Cyber Crime Division at the FBI, a perfectly focus-grouped cast headed by Special Agent Avery Ryan. She is a former behavioral psychiatrist whose practice fell apart when–spoiler alert!–all of her case files were stolen by a hacker who then murdered one of her patients. Now she is on a mission to "turn" hackers one at a time to the path of righteousness. She is aided in this noble quest by the guy who played Dawson, former child rapper Lil Bow Wow, and the two h4x0r caricatures: a bearded, wisecracking guy named Daniel Krumitz who is the "greatest white hat hacker in the world", and Raven Ramirez, whom we know is a hacker because she has dyed hair. Also, because her name is Raven.
As a public service, the Threatpost team, Mike Mimoso, Dennis Fisher, Brian Donohue and Chris Brook, watched the first episode of CSI: Cyber and kept a running chat log of the "action."
As a public service, the Threatpost team, Mike Mimoso, Dennis Fisher, Brian Donohue and Chris Brook, watched the first episode of CSI: Cyber and kept a running chat log of the "action."
"What the fuck did I just read?"
Political debates have me rolling my eyes so much I think I got optical whiplash. I should sue. - Foamy The Squirrel
"This makes Swordfish look like a documentary."
Every investigative drama franchise must employ, at a minimum, one former rapper.
(My wife watches pretty much ALL of these shows. I can't stand them...)
#DeleteChrome
I remember that episode. It was CSI:Miami.
But seriously, if *that's* the thing that put you off then I don't even know how you made it that far. Mostly because CSI Miami departed the land of the firmly ground in reality and wound up tethered somewhere in high orbit far before that episode.
That said it was certainly my favourite of the CSI series. Possibly because of that. None of the shows were remotely realistic in a wide variety of ways (oh god the pixels please no don't zoom any more!!!11), but since CSI Miami more or less gave up any pretense that it was meant to be and instead was 45 minutes of Horatio being awesome, saving women and children and shooting very heavily armed but remarkably inaccurare bad guys it was actually far more entertaining.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah B-)
SJW n. One who posts facts.
Regarding computers and the internets:
1. Everything is connected to the internet. Refrigerators, traffic lights, mailboxes, lightbulbs... everything. And it all can be hacked and controlled remotely.
2. Hackers do not use mice or trackpads. They only use the keyboard, even when opening, moving and resizing windows in a GUI environment.
2a. Hackers only use LOUD keyboards. Even their laptop keyboards are buckling spring action so you can hear them go TAPYTAPYTAPYTAPY
3. Hackers are capable of accurately predicting anything. The trajectory of a car going over an open drawbridge, the food someone buys at a grocery store, which entrance someone will use at a shopping mall - ANYTHING. Because they have computers.
4. Any computer can be easily broken in to and controlled. Except for when you have a light plot and need to eat up time, in which case you have to physically break into a highly secure office building and do some technical thing to gain access. Hackers are good at doing that too. Because, you know, hackers.
5. Hackers can tell exactly what a program does by looking at a screen of hex code and random plaintext.
6. Hackers can pull signal out of noise floor in ANY SITUATION. Sharpening blurry photographs, pulling intelligible voice out of a noisy recording, un-deleting files, doesn't matter.
My Other Computer Is A Data General Nova III.
Obligatory BOFH reference:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2...
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
If you can read this, it means that I bothered to log in.
It sounds like this show is just screaming out for a drinking game.
"Is CSI on? Start drinking."
"Is the show over yet? Okay, now you can stop."
I remember that episode. It was CSI:Miami.
But seriously, if *that's* the thing that put you off then I don't even know how you made it that far. Mostly because CSI Miami departed the land of the firmly ground in reality and wound up tethered somewhere in high orbit far before that episode.
That said it was certainly my favourite of the CSI series. Possibly because of that. None of the shows were remotely realistic in a wide variety of ways (oh god the pixels please no don't zoom any more!!!11), but since CSI Miami more or less gave up any pretense that it was meant to be and instead was 45 minutes of Horatio being awesome, saving women and children and shooting very heavily armed but remarkably inaccurare bad guys it was actually far more entertaining.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah B-)
You could say that this new spinoff
[sunglasses]
Is CSI: DOA
[yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah]
systemd will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
systemd will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of systemd, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
systemd will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.