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Wastelanders Decry Lack of Change In Punishment Wheel
If you've spent time in the wasteland you've no doubt gone to Bartertown. Famous for its functioning walls, the oasis gives traders a chance to watch people battle to the death in a giant cage and deal busters spin The Wheel to learn their fate. While most wanderers enjoy watching the bloodsport many are now complaining that The Wheel is starting to feel old. "It's been around so long I think everyone has seen every option many times. You never know what's going to happen when someone is trying to smash someone else with a giant hammer, but The Wheel is getting predictable. It's worked so well that nobody has bothered to come up with new options," says one purveyor of slightly irradiated meat. His voice is just one in a growing chorus of dissatisfied wanderers. Another long-time resident adds: "I know it may not seems like a big deal, but part of the fun of living out here is the excitement. If the punishment to my eventual crime can't be fresh or creative I don't know what we're trying to build. These are not the values of the Bartertown I grew up in."
...just stop.
These aren't jokes. Jokes are supposed to be funny.
I forgot it was April Fools and this was the first story I read, and I was highly annoyed someone was writing about a game and not including at least some indication of _what_ game it was. Then I saw the next story.. and the next one.. and I forgot that on April 1st it was tough to come around here.
I will shred my adversaries. Pull their eyes out just enough to turn them towards their mewing, mutilated faces. Illyria
You know, if you really want to show your dislike for today's articles, don't post complaints and rants--just don't post. A line at the bottom of each article saying 'Read the 10 comments' at the end of the day will send a much stronger message than any number of complaints.
And there will be much fewer tedious and annoying posts to go through for those of us unfortunate enough to have mod points today.
When someone says, "Any fool can see
I, for one, preferred it when it was called Hokuto no Ken or Fist of the North Star.
The worst thing about April Fools Day is people complaining about it being April Fools Day and the gags not being funny.
Death by thigh attack
death by ass smothering
is there anything she hasn't filled with silicon/whatever?
Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
That's it! Anyone who complains will get a spin on the new and improved wheel of fate! You won't believe what happens when we spin this wheel!
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
If you want to do something funny on 4/1, collect the submitted attempts at humor, and choose the best one or two to post. Then it might actually be funny. But running every stream-of-lameness piece of shit that crosses your inbox is just pathetic. In other words, editors, act like editors.
Oh, wait, never mind...
Master Blaster approves.
Or just have a story category dedicated to this so we can set our options to exclude these posts.
Please. Seriously. More so than mod points, being able to disable ads or filtering comments by mod score.
The difference between the Internet on April Fool's Day and on other days is on the one it is packed with false stories full of pandering nonsense written by charlatans to gain page views, and on the other it is the first day of April.
Blasphemy is a human right. Blasphemophobia kills.
Your wish has been granted. After exiting the Thunder-dome, you will be able to avoid such stories merely by not reading anything posted on April 1st. IF you exit the Thunder-dome.
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
"But sir, that's the old wheel with a fresh coat of paint."
"Right, giant hammer for you then!"
If anyone knows why Gnome chose to depend on systemd, please let me know.
It was an April Fools prank taken waaaay too far.
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.