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Restart of Large Hadron Collider At CERN
Taco Cowboy contributes this news from the BBC: After a two-year hiatus the LHC (Large Hadron Collider ) at CERN has been restarted. For the past two years an upgrade program was carried out for the LHC. Due to the upgrade, the LHC is enjoying a double dose of energy, as compared to its previous self before the upgrade. Particle beams have now travelled in both directions, inside parallel pipes, at a whisker below the speed of light.
Actual collisions will not begin for at least another month. Currently the protons are being injected at a relatively low energy to begin with. But over the coming months, engineers hope to gradually increase the beams' energy to 13 trillion electronvolts: double what it was during the LHC's first operating run. The experiment teams have already detected 'splashes' of particles, which occur when stray protons hit one of the shutters used to keep the beam on-track. If this happens in part of the pipe near one of the experiments, the detectors can pick up some of the debris. ... Debris from the tiny but history-making smash-ups might contain new particles, or tell-tale gaps betraying the presence of dark matter or even hidden dimensions. But first we need collisions — due in May at the earliest — and then a steady torrent of data will make its way to physicists around the world, so that the massive analysis effort can begin."
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Now witness the power of this fully operational LHC!
A physicist is spending a vacation in Geneva near the headquarters of CERN. He's helping his wife shop, and she decides to have her hair done. She tells him, "Be back at exactly 4:00 to pick me up, no Physics." As he walks down the avenue, he sees a cute blonde peering under the hood of her car.
"Can I help you?" he asks.
"I'm stalled."
He takes out a Swiss Army knife and fiddles with the engine. "Try it." No luck. He fiddles again. "Try it again." No luck. He fiddles some more. "Try it again."
Vrooooom, vrooooom. Success at last. She says, "Thank you very much. Oh dear, your hands are covered with grease. I live nearby. You can stop and wash your hands."
He washes his hands. She offers him tea. One thing leads to another, and they jump into bed together. An hour later he jumps out of bed and says, "Look at the time!" He dresses quickly and rushes out the door. Then he stops, goes back in and asks, "Got any chalk?"
"Yeah, in the drawer over there."
He marks the back of his jacket with chalk and rushes to the hairdresser where his wife is waiting with packages and black smoke coming out of her ears. "Where were you?"
"Well, I was walking down the street and saw this attractive blonde whose car wouldn't start. I helped her, got all greasy, and went upstairs to wash my hands. One thing led to another and we jumped into bed..."
She says, "Wait a minute; turn around. You liar—you went to CERN and talked physics!"