Update: No Personhood for Chimps Yet

sciencehabit writes: In a decision that effectively recognizes chimpanzees as legal persons for the first time, a New York judge [Monday] granted a pair of Stony Brook University lab animals the right to have their day in court. The ruling marks the first time in U.S. history that an animal has been covered by a writ of habeus corpus, which typically allows human prisoners to challenge their detention. The judicial action could force the university, which is believed to be holding the chimps, to release the primates, and could sway additional judges to do the same with other research animals. Update: 04/21 21:39 GMT by S : Science has updated their article with news that the court has released an amended order (PDF) with the words "writ of habeas corpus" removed, no longer implying that chimps have legal personhood. The order still allows the litigation to go forward, but we'll have to wait for resolution.

Comments

Ah, these activist judges!

[rmdingler]

Despite making poor judicial precedent, I see a great Disney movie blossoming out of this.

What's next? A judgement against the internet on behalf of cats everywhere?

Re:Ah, these activist judges!

[kaizendojo]

Despite making poor judicial precedent, I see a great Disney movie blossoming out of this.

What's next? A judgement against the internet on behalf of cats everywhere?

I can haz a cut of da profits?

Re:Habeus Corpus

[Ol Olsoc]

While I question some of the treatment of research animals, what exactly did the chimps ask of the court?

They want people to stop saying we are related to them.

IRS

[jfdavis668]

The IRS will now show up and demand that they file their taxes.

Plants are people, too!

[argStyopa]

Precisely why are we stopping at recognizing chimps as people, except some sort of gross, obvious anthropocentrism?

Let's point out that there is an entire class of life forms on this planet that have ALSO gone through millions of years of evolution to reach where they are, and yet they are continually exploited, manipulated, and murdered on behalf of humans whims: that's right, I'm talking about plants.

There is no question that they live, breed, and grow. There is ample evidence that they feel pain, and even communicate with each other in ways that we barely understand. In many ways, they are far more in touch with their environment than we are, yet we chop vegetables up for food, we decapitate grass by the billions every week because they had the audacity to try to flourish, heck, we RIP THEM UP BY THEIR ROOTS and chemically sterilize them simply for living in the wrong place, dismissing it by calling them "weeds". We annihilate them, and even have the gall to use their corpses for DECORATION.

We are perpetuating a moral crime, yet nobody can be "bothered" because they don't have fur, a face, or make cute baby pictures.

#stopthehate
#lawnmowersaregenocide
#christmastreeisahatecrime

Re:Plants are people, too!

[Neil Boekend]

Lawnmowers are hardly as nice as genocide. They are tools of mass torture that leave the victim alive for as long as possible, drawing out the torture for as long as possible.

Re:Habeus Corpus

[Anonymous Coward]

While I question some of the treatment of research animals, what exactly did the chimps ask of the court?

They want people to stop saying we are related to them.

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.... Really? That's it?

Re:Genius!

[Kierthos]

Nonsense. We can always test new drugs on creatures that absolutely no one cares about.

Lawyers.

What did the chimps ask?

[Anonymous Coward]

Take your stinking paws off me you damned dirty ape!

Re:Genius!

[HornWumpus]

Animal rights activists.