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Douglas Williams Pleads Guilty To Training Customers To Beat Polygraph
For quite a while, we've been following the case of Douglas Gene Williams, accused of and indicted for teaching people to pass polygraph tests that they might otherwise have been unable to, and for the claims he made in advertising this training -- and specifically for showing his techniques to some undercover Federal agents. Now, reports Ars Technica, Williams has pleaded guilty to five charges of obstruction of justice and mail fraud. From the article: Williams isn't the first person prosecuted for these type of allegations. An Indiana man was accused of offering similar services and was sentenced in 2013 to eight months in prison. The judge presiding over the case said the case blended a "gray area" of First Amendment speech and the unlawful act of instructing people to lie on polygraph tests issued by the federal government.
Williams' site, Polygraph.com, is now defunct.
The indictment says Williams told an undercover agent that "I haven't lived this long and fucked the government this long, and done such a controversial thing that I do for this long, and got away with it without any trouble whatsoever, by being a dumb ass." The authorities said he told another undercover agent that "I've taught a lot of those guys. In fact, there's a lot of government agents—FBI, Secret Service, NSA, all of those alphabet agencies—that have already retired, that I taught, years ago. And I know what I'm doing, and you will pass with no problem."
That's called "puffery" in the law or marketing to the rest of us.
Polygraph machines were invented in 1921 and their results are usually not admissible as evidence in court.
And why was law enforement - the Fucked up Bureau of Idiocy - FBI wasting millions of taxpayer dollars going after this guy?! Hmmm?!
The government wore this guy down, buried him in legal fees, stress, harassment, and just plain assholishness over a man that has shown polygraphs to be pseudo scientific bullshit.
Douglas Williams is actually innocent but just made a plea to get the grunts with the badges and guns off his back.
I'm saying this before I RTFA so I'll revisit this statement if it makes me rethink but...why the fuck is it unlawful to teach people to "defeat" a method that doesn't even hold water within the very same legal system he is forced to plead guilt?
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No, it is not to clench your anus while you lie.
It is to clench your anus while the machine is being calibrated, prior to the questions.
Then, while you lie (or tell the truth but simply feel uncomfortable) the machine will not register your anxiety because it has been calibrated too high.
This guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inacurate. (from THHGTTG)
I can't believe people take these seriously. A polygraph is supposed to be a lie detector test, but all it does is tests vital signs. There is absolutely no way to prove if it's correct or not, so what is the point? If a polygraph was worth anything whatsoever, they wouldn't be worried about somebody being trained to beat it.
The other method is to simply be born a psychopath with an absence of conscience. So what point the test when 1% of the human population, 20% of the prison population and 50% of violent crimes are the statistics for psychopaths.
And, apparently, many (most?) CEOs are psychopaths. Which Professions Have the Most Psychopaths? (there's a list):
CEO is the profession with the most psychopaths.
Also noted here and here and ... oh just Google "ceo" "psychopath"
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.
I took a look at the actual indictment. Well, at least the first few pages. Remember how people still insist to this day that Bill Clinton wasn't impeached (he was - impeaching does not mean convicting) or that he was impeached for "cheating on his wife"? Years later, the lies spun by his spin doctors still hold fast in many minds. Clinton was impeached for committing perjury in a civil trial. Now the event he committed perjury about was cheating on Hilary, but he was impeached for lying about it while under oath, not for the actual act of cheating on her. Similarly, this indictment isn't really and truly about beating lie detector tests. The government's contention is that Williams had a business whose purpose was to enable people ineligible for certain government jobs to get those jobs through lying and deception. This is defrauding the US government because salaries would be paid to those ineligible people. The government also contends that he enriched himself (through fees he charged) by encouraging people to lie to and deceive the federal government into hiring ineligible people for jobs. The first 6 or so pages I looked at don't actually mention anything about lie detector tests.
No matter how many of these tests I do, I still really dislike that anal probe that measures how stressed my anus is.
Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
I think it's more that he was specifically stating that he would assist his customers in lying to the government on job applications and the like.
In unrelated news, I'm hosting a class on how to beat lie detectors, but it's for entertainment purposes only. And I'll take a lie detector test to prove it.
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
I'm trying to figure out exactly what LAW was broken here?
Mail fraud for starters. I read the indictment when this story originally happened. Instructing people to lie to the Federal Government is a crime. Charging them money for your "services" that you receive via the USPS is an even bigger crime.
Question: "I'm nervous, what if they ask me about that time I used drugs?"
Answer #1: "Just remain calm. Do math in your head." <--- not illegal
Answer #2: "Lie to them and stay calm." <--- illegal
Answer #3: "Lie to them and stay calm. Now send me a postal money order for my services." <--- really illegal
If you read the charging documents you'll see that it's not really a first amendment issue. Mr. Williams also let his greed get the better of him. He identified one of the agents as such, even said, "I think you're a Fed. I'm not doing this." but later called the guy back and changed his mind. It was for a lousy five thousand dollars too if I recall correctly. For a lousy five grand he ignored the little voice inside his head and committed a Federal felony. I have zero sympathy.
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Um, that wasn't a lie detector.
You are welcome on my lawn.