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Al-Qaeda's Job Application Form Revealed
HughPickens.com writes: ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid the killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.
Al-Faruq has 12 sticks of dynamite in his vest. El-waqui has 4 packs of C4. They trade 3 sticks of dynamite for 1 pack of C4.
a) Did Al-Faruq's vest weight go up or down?
b) How many infidels can each send to hell when they're a martyr?
Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Aweenr can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?
M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have twice as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.
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Which makes it even more disturbing...
Wonder that the health benefits are like. :P
Actually, the fine print would probably resemble: "You will receive stated number of virgins in the afterlife, but Al-Qaeda and its affiliates cannot guarantee the quality, skill, sexual preference, or the species of the virgins. Nor do we offer substitutions."
Table-ized A.I.
I applied, but the recruiter insisted I already have five years experience in suicide bombing before he could get me a decent placement.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.