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Al-Qaeda's Job Application Form Revealed

Posted by samzenpus on from the get-a-job dept.

HughPickens.com writes: ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid the killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?

The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"

27 of 149 comments (clear)

  1. When watching GI Joe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.

    1. Re:When watching GI Joe by mujadaddy · · Score: 4, Funny

      And knowing is half the battle!

      --
      Populus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur...
      "Force shits upon Reason's back." - Poor Richard's Almanac
    2. Re:When watching GI Joe by painandgreed · · Score: 2

      I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.

      Actually, this was answered in the GI Joe comic (written by the guy that had the idea for the new GI Joe IIRC). Cobra employees typically came form the slums of the world. They would find gang members, poor, the dispossessed. Move them to Cobra facilities where they are inducted into a new gang, clothed, fed, socialized into a new family, given education and training, entertainment, healthcare, and even plans to send some of their salary back to their families and help elevate them out of poverty. The typical Cobra base is 2/3rds dorms and recreation space. The rest is doing things that are probably nicer than what they did on the street and no worse than what the governments they used to live under are doing. Then one day, GI Joe attacks them, destroyed their lives, and shatter their dreams.

  2. Truth be told... by garyisabusyguy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family

    The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
    The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions

    --
    Wherever You Go, There You Are
    1. Re:Truth be told... by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Anonymous coward( 'Bull Fucking Shit', below) is far too strident; but it is the case that there's a curious sort of 'bifurcation' in the 'terrorist' labor market(a confusion we probably contribute to by conflating the various local tribal militias, warlords, strongmen, etc. who cause us trouble during our ground campaigns with the 'terrorists' who are much more international in scope).

      On the one hand, as you say, the terrorist grunt supply is heavily drawn from frustrated young men(inconveniently, lots of prime recruiting grounds have demographics that skew fairly young, so there are lots of them), with limited economic prospects, often compounded by a culture where you probably aren't getting laid unless you've achieved enough economic stability to get married. The miscellaneous 'insurgents' who raise hell when you attempt to occupy their home sand trap; but lack international ambitions and/or capabilities are mostly these guys. Some of the lower-skill terrorists proper are as well(particularly for the Israelis, since Gaza's festering-prison-slum atmosphere provides an endless supply of the angry and hopeless; and you don't even need to buy them plane tickets to have them go do a 'martyrdom operation'.

      On the other hand, a lot of terrorist leadership, and high-skill recruits(if you want to blow stuff up, it sure helps to have some real engineers and chemists around), are not driven by economic desperation. Bin Laden himself was basically a trust-fund fundamentalist, and a lot of the more influential and logistically important figures are people with decent university degrees, often in marketable subjects, who are financially stable; but alienated by some aspect of the injustice of the world, or disaffected by secularism or the wrong sort of religious practice, exactly which one varying by person.

      They come in both flavors.

    2. Re:Truth be told... by hey! · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Dear moderators: "Troll" is not a synonym for "I disagree with this".

      That said, I disagree with this.

      We've known since the investigation of 9/11 that suicide bombers are not necessarily dead-enders except in the literal sense. Economic powerlessness might play a role in the political phenomenon of extremist violence, but it is not a necessary element of the profile of a professional extremist. These people often come from privileged backgrounds and display average to above average job aptitude.

      Mohammed Atta's life story makes interesting reading. He was born to privileged parents; at the insistence of his emotionally distant father he wasn't allowed to socialize with other kids his age, and had a lifelong difficulty with relating to his peers. At university he did OK but below the high expectations of his parents. He went to graduate school in urban planning where his thesis was on how impersonal modern high rise buildings ruined the historic old neighborhoods of the Muslim world.

      That much is factual; as to why he became an extremist while countless others like him did not, we can only speculate. I imagine that once he decided modernity was the source of his personal dissatisfactions Al Qaeda would be attractive to him. Al Qaeda training provided structure which made interacting with his new "peers" easier than ever before. And martyrdom promised relief from the dissatisfactions of a life spent conscious of his own mediocrity. Altogether he was a miserable and twisted man -- but not economically miserable.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    3. Re:Truth be told... by Smallpond · · Score: 2

      These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family

      The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
      The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions

      The 9/11 hijackers included an architect, a law student and a school teacher. A significant number of suicide bombers have technical backgrounds, have families and have had a pretty good life. They have found solutions to the problems of jobs, food and home life and choose to focus on a perceived evil in the world that they don't think they can change in any other way.

    4. Re:Truth be told... by garyisabusyguy · · Score: 2

      "and unsurprisingly, a lot of terrorists aren't devoutly religious"

      I think that it may be a similar phenomenon to Born Again Christians in America, where people are deeply indoctrinated when they are young, put aside their beliefs for lives of debauchery in their young adult years, then fall back to their original beliefs (or influence of religious leaders who represent those beliefs) in later years or when facing some emotional hardship

      --
      Wherever You Go, There You Are
    5. Re:Truth be told... by KGIII · · Score: 3

      I opted to school myself on quickly via the mighty Google. I learned something today and it is surprising.

      Perhaps surprisingly, our review of the evidence provides little reason for optimism that a reduction in poverty or an increase in educational attainment would meaningfully reduce international terrorism. Any connection between poverty, education and terrorism is indirect, complicated and probably quite weak. Instead of viewing terrorism as a direct response to low market opportunities or ignorance, we suggest it is more accurately viewed as a response to political conditions and long-standing feelings of indignity and frustration that have little to do with economics.

      Citation: http://www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PD... (Note: PDF)

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    6. Re:Truth be told... by garyisabusyguy · · Score: 2

      Because we live in a simple world of right and wrong where everything is in black and white...

      --
      Wherever You Go, There You Are
  3. I forgot to ask by fustakrakich · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Why is "business" in quotation marks? This is a business. Al-Qaeda and ISIS are brand names, just like DuPont and AT&T. Financed by big money from around the world. That would most likely include your favorite financial institution.

    --
    “He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
  4. BULL FUCKING SHIT by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family

    The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
    The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions

    BULLSHIT.

    Jihadi John:

    Emwazi was born Muhammad Jassim Abdulkarim Olayan al-Dhafiri[15] on 17 August 1988 in Kuwait[1] to Jassem and Ghaneyah.[14] The family, who were Bedoon of Iraqi origin,[14] moved to UK in 1994 when he was six.[16] They settled in inner west London, moving between several properties in Maida Vale,[17] later living in St John's Wood and finally in Queen's Park.[17][18] Emwazi attended St Mary Magdalene Church of England primary school, and later Quintin Kynaston Community Academy.[3]

    In 2006 he went to the University of Westminster, studying Information Systems with Business Management. He secured a lower second-class BSc (Hons) on graduation three years later.[3] At age 21, he worked as a salesman at an IT company in Kuwait and was considered by his boss as the best employee the company ever had.

    You are one addle-brained moron.

    1. Re:BULL FUCKING SHIT by davester666 · · Score: 2

      Clearly, most/all 'applicants' have similar qualifications as Jihadi John.

      --
      Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
    2. Re:BULL FUCKING SHIT by KGIII · · Score: 2, Insightful

      And Osama came from a wealthy family and was wealthy himself. So? You realize that your post includes a link to Wikipedia? The reason there is an article about him specifically is because, well, they are an outlier and their exception to the rules makes them noteworthy enough to have an article to start with. Occam's Razor ring a bell? Yay! You found an exception and that somehow disproves, "...applicants' would probably never consider the path..."

      At risk of going a bit too far I would highly recommend a Critical Thinking course (or two) at the collegiate level. "My driveway is wet, it must be raining." Or, you know, it could be a sprinkler, melted snow, a water balloon fight, or a myriad of other causes. You may find the following link beneficial:

      https://www.google.com/search?...

      I may seem like an ass but, oddly and truly, I have your best interests at heart. The more people who utilize logic the better my planet will be and the better your understanding will be.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
  5. looks fake by mOzone · · Score: 2

    This form poped up on net about a week ago and looks fake as hell ..al Qaeda is like grampa with the old ass computer with a dot matrix printer that family has to hunt cartage's down for and isis 4k HD video makeing high gloss pdf magizine makeing teen

  6. FFS by koan · · Score: 2

    Al-Qaeda and ISIS are manufactured FUD, why does media like /. want to further that crap?
    A Primer:
    http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu...

    A snippet:

    This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.

    In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

    We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.

    Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades.

    In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.

    Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.

    The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present

            and is gravely to be regarded.

    --
    "If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
    1. Re:FFS by koan · · Score: 2

      I don't believe I mentioned 9/11, What I am trying to say is that every bit of this terrorism you see today is manufactured.
      I was pretty specific about this.

      As far as 9/11 goes, well maybe it was a straight forward attack maybe it wasn't, but the people in charge needed something like 9/11 to put their agenda into action.
      Little chance the US would have gone to war and occupation of Iraq without it, and no way you get the PATRIOT act and the NSA issues without it.

      By the way if you're under 30 I really don't want to hear from you again, you're too young to grasp this bit of history.

      Here are the choices I think you have for 9/11.
      A: Factions in the government not only knew, but assisted in it.
      B: Factions in the government knew there was an attack coming, ignored warnings and allowed it to happen, but did not participate further than that.
      C: Your government is telling the truth.

      My personal choice is B.

      9/11 can not be discussed rationally online, I realized this a long time ago, Just take a look at how you posted...

      you need to get your head screwed on straight.

      There are only 2 paths of discussion for the majority of the people out there.
      A: The government told the truth.
      B: Conspiracy nuts.

      There is no "in between" has been my experience, no room for conjecture or debate. (again see your response)

      What Eisenhower stated in his speech came true, every bit of his concern exist and thrives today.
      ISIS and Al Q are manufactured crisis for the MIC.

      I'll leave you with a saying that illustrates the above points.

      You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.

      Rahm Emanuel

      9/11 was the crisis, the Never Ending War on Terrorism is "the opportunity".

      --
      "If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
  7. Sample questions by Snotnose · · Score: 5, Funny

    Al-Faruq has 12 sticks of dynamite in his vest. El-waqui has 4 packs of C4. They trade 3 sticks of dynamite for 1 pack of C4.
    a) Did Al-Faruq's vest weight go up or down?
    b) How many infidels can each send to hell when they're a martyr?

    Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Aweenr can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?

    M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?

    Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have twice as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.

  8. Re:business of mass-murdering innocent people by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Interesting

    If anything, Al-Qaeda isn't actually in the mass-murder business.

    They are a nasty bunch, treat civilian casualties as a feature not a bug, etc.; but they don't have nearly the resources or the direct combat assets; much less specialized infrastructure that must either be carefully hidden or sited in an area where you are the de-facto government, to do 'mass murder'.

    They do terrorism: that tends to include a good deal of violence; but calibrated with an eye to maximum psychological impact, attacks on culturally salient targets, that sort of thing. In terms of straight body count, they rank well below more-or-less-strictly-business drug cartels, and even a fair percentage of the 21st century bush wars in countries that aren't interesting enough to even attract a few foreign correspondents; much less the sort of stuff that made the 20th century so notorious.

    The numbers get a bit fuzzy because of the various more-and-less-actually-connected 'franchise' operators, some of which were actually collaborators to some reasonably close degree, some of which were little more than unrelated thugs with a taste for trademark infringement; but Al-Qaeda's body count just isn't that big. It's well weighted for psychological punch, lots of Americans in important buildings, fewer peasant conscripts in ethniclashistan; but in absolute numbers? Chickenshit. ISIS and Boko Haram are almost certainly well ahead; and let's not even talk about how quickly the professionals working for established nation states can stack up bodies...

  9. Brought to you by dice.com by linebackn · · Score: 4, Funny

    This story has been brought to you by your dice.com overloads.

    Which makes it even more disturbing...

    Wonder that the health benefits are like. :P

  10. Re:Benefits by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, the fine print would probably resemble: "You will receive stated number of virgins in the afterlife, but Al-Qaeda and its affiliates cannot guarantee the quality, skill, sexual preference, or the species of the virgins. Nor do we offer substitutions."

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  11. Soft bigotry of incomprehensibly low expectations by foreverdisillusioned · · Score: 2, Interesting

    As it happens, I'm unemployed right now and extremely (clinically) depressed. (Too bad I can't afford COBRA, so I can't afford the antidepressant I was taking.) And yet--for some bizarre reason--I have not considered the option of murdering a bunch of people who don't share my philosophical views. Maybe I should. Do they offer dental?

    Come on. If a bunch of people are one layoff away from going jihadi-apeshit, then there is a problem here quite distinct from whatever economic woes they might face.

    And let's face it, however bad things are in Britain, these unemployed proto-jihadis have it a hell of a lot better than I do on this side of the pond, watching my life savings dwindle, several months later still fighting to receive my first unemployment check, with a maximum benefit cap of roughly $4000 (maximum for the year. Not per-payment max.)

    I have a certain amount of leftist sympathies, but their strife simply does not warrant their jihad. (And as others have noted, a great many of the terrorists have been middle or upper-middle class.)

  12. Re:business of mass-murdering innocent people by KGIII · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Beer and circuses my friend. It appears you know this, which is good. Today it is televised sports and beer. Circuses are not so common any more but the result is the same. A lethargic and mostly satisfied or entertained populace does not seem to inspect or criticize their government (or those who have power over them) nearly as much as a disenfranchised group with neither satisfaction or entertainment.

    --
    "So long and thanks for all the fish."
  13. Re: EVEN ***MORE*** BULLSHIT by garyisabusyguy · · Score: 4, Informative

    Doctors? Hardly

    Mohammad Sidique Khan: aged 30, worked as 'learning mentor' in a primary school for immigrant children

    Shehzad Tanweer: aged 22, worked part time at his father's fish and chips shop

    Germaine Lindsay: aged 19, worked part-time as a carpet fitter and supplemented his income by selling covers for mobile phones at a local market

    Hasib Hussain: aged 18, a recently graduated student who was living with in-laws and had a recent arrest for shoplifting

    --
    Wherever You Go, There You Are
  14. I Applied by BlackHawk-666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I applied, but the recruiter insisted I already have five years experience in suicide bombing before he could get me a decent placement.

    --
    All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
  15. Re:Soft bigotry of incomprehensibly low expectatio by dave420 · · Score: 2

    You are the one who is confused. It's not "poverty", but being outside of the economy and not being allowed in. It's like mega-poverty, as you simply don't exist, have no voice, yet still have the lovely gift of being shat on by those with power.

  16. "Please write clearly and legibly." by Kiyyik · · Score: 2

    So, does this mean that somewhere out there is someone who wanted to join Al-Qaeda and become a terrorist and blow themselves up and all that jazz but got rejected for poor penmanship?

    "Well, Ahmed, you scored high in fanaticism and lack of moral scruples, but this application is frankly a mess. I could barely read the thing. I'm afraid you're just not what we're looking for, sorry. Have you tried Amway?"

    "They sent me here."