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Kim Jong Un Claims To Have Cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer
jones_supa writes: North Korea has created a wonder drug which not only cures AIDS, but also eradicates Ebola and cancer — at least, according to the latest proclamation from the country's news agency. Their announcement says the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertilizer and rare earth elements. The drug's website cites a medical study in Africa where the product was tested on HIV-positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56% being completely cured and 44% noting a considerable improvement in their condition. Among other benefits, the North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing a number of cancers, but did not provide details of the medical trials which support this claim. It's also good to remember that the state has previously claimed that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger.
Unicorn blood is well know to stop a person from dying, no matter how sick or injured. Pretty convient that N. Korea just so happens to invent a miracle drug just three years after finding a unicorn.
The medicinal herb also cures diabetes and morbid obesity; just look at the chiselled energetic body of the leader!
You can get rid of all kinds of infectious diseases simply by starving your cities to the point where there aren't enough able-bodied people left to transmit the disease to each other.
And most cancer can be cured by lowering your country's life expectancy to under the age where those cancers start to form.
So look at the bright side, North Korea!
I also cured AIDS, Ebola and Cancer. What are the chances?
Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
He explodes when he turns 60?
But it would kinda explain his ... size. He's not overweight. Just full of it.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Every court has its jester, and the world has li'l Kim.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
Thirty four characters live here.
can the average North Korean pay the price ... ?
North Korea provides free health care, which they can afford because they also carefully regulate caloric intake, so there are no fat North Koreans with chronic health problems. Also, no nation on Earth does more to combat climate change; wasteful night-time lighting, for instance, is basically not used outside Pyongyang, and North Koreans citizens don't drive gas guzzling SUVs. Finally, North Korea has achieved extremely uniform income equality; except for North Korea's benevolent rulers there are effectively no rich people in North Korea at all.
It's a liberal paradise, now with free a AIDs cure.
Maw! Fire up the karma burner!