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Techies Hire Witch To Protect Computers From Viruses and Offices From Spirits
schwit1 writes: It may seem like your computer or smartphone is possessed by an evil spirit sometimes when a mysterious bug keeps causing an app to crash, but if you truly think your machine has been invaded by an evil spirit, there's someone who will take your call — Reverend Joey Talley. A Wiccan witch from the San Francisco Bay Area, Talley claims to solve supernatural issues for techies. Business Insider reports: "Talley’s website says she welcomes issues too unusual or dangerous to take the the straight world of Western helpers. But she also says no problem is too big or small, even, perhaps, your printer malfunctioning. However before you jump on the phone, you should be aware that Talley’s services do not come cheap. She charges $200 an hour (though a phone consultation is free)."
But there is
http://www.darwinawards.com/
She was hired by a rival and was sticking pins in clay models of rackmount servers.
We are haveing a hard time finding tech people who are also Wiccan witch so we need X3 more h1b's to find them.
Don't listen to that hack! Norse spirits, my butt! Everyone knows that Norse spirits play no role in Apple hardware, there were no apples in Scandinavia and hence these spirits know nothing how to deal with Apple products. As everyone who has at least a HINT of a clue when it comes to technospirits knows, most likely when you're dealing with a possessed Apple product you have a Greek spirit at your hands. Hesperides anyone? But in the case of evil Apple spirits, it is almost invariably some ploy of Eris you're dealing with. Fuck, doesn't anyone know his mythology these days anymore?
Fucking hacks! Don't trust anyone but a ordained Discordian pope (like myself) to deal with stuff like that! Don't put your valuable data into jeopardy!
Yes, getting your spirits warded by a genuine pope of the Church of Eris is pricey (my rates start at 300 for a first consultation) but would you rather pay 150 to that hack and get NOTHING in return? You deserve a better service than that!
(Yes, I'm working in consulting. Why are you asking?)
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
weigh the same as a duck?
Not likely. Wicca is irresistably appealing to fat chicks. You'd have to find one massive duck. Maybe you could genetically engineer a duck to have a glandular disorder?